Life so far has been very tiring. I've gotta find a new meaning, a new motivation, some inspiration for me to continue.
PROMOS~ I really don't want to remember it. It's better if I pretend it didn't happen because it'll only make me feel worst. I'll just move on. Try again, and hopefully next year I see results.
SCAPE~ Mike brought me to Scape. I've been there twice now. Second time with Mansi and Mike. It's really nice over there. The atmosphere. The energy, the focus, the strength, the unity. Going there really affirms my opinion that we suck. and that we have so much to work on. It's frustrating that I can't do much, I can't initiate much change because I'm not in a position that allows me to do that. It's frustrating because I care too much, and it seems that no one else cares as much. And it's frustrating that I can't do much for the cause and for the people that I care about because those people that I care won't let me. I'm enjoying trainings less and less. And I really hate the feeling of dreading to come to training because I'll end up seeing what I don't want to see. Hating what you love is really a tiring experience.
TSD~ What the pong. Sighs. Gotta redo a lot of stuff. TSD is sucking the life out of all of us. TSD doesn't care if it's the weekdays or weeknights or weekends or weekend nights or even public holidays. As much as it's fun, it's tiring like hell. It's frustrating like shit.
NICKHUNTORIA COUPLE, WE GOT MARRIED~ Watching them really makes my desire to find 'the one' soon a lot stronger. It's tiring to be alone. Like really. I've never had many friends, just those few who really know me and who really matter to me. But I do wish for someone whom I can just pour out my whole soul too. Who really takes the time to get to know me, and accept me and who will help me discover about myself too. And someone who'll need me as much as I need him. And someone I can give comfort to as much as he's capable of giving me. In one of the truth and dare games that 1E played (Ben Anthia Mike Van Joel Leena Isis) one of the questions Van got was the characteristics that her guy should have. It's really tough to answer it. I don't think I have an answer to it. And besides I think my answer always changes, but I'll try to answer it anyway.
Physical look:
1. I don't need him to be very handsome. In fact I think I'd rather him not to. Because I'm not pretty. And I won't match him. That'd be sad.
2. I just need him to have a friendly, happy face. A smile that will make me smile too. A smile and also a laugh that can make me feel at ease, make me feel warm. And that will allow me to take a breather from whatever problems I have. Of course, the problems won't go away. But life will be bearable and easier because he's there. Wow, all that from a smile huh.
3. Muscular but slim. He should be quite athletic and active because that's the kind of life that I want to have.
Characteristics:
1. Honesty
2. Responsibility
3. Comfortable
4. Humourous
What else is there to say? Many guys can be all of that. But I'll need someone who loves me as much as I love him. I can't wait to hear words like "I love you.", "I miss you.", "Get well.", "Everything is okay.", "I'm here." and to say them back too.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
today was the first time i went to jazz lesson in like 5 weeks. :/ i was really out of practice :// and when i heard that chloe and nadyn will take their exams at the end of the year, i really felt, wah... i have to practice a lot more. and i want to learn more. like have 3 hours of lessons instead of 1 hour. i just had this urge to learn more. a day of classes: jazz, ballet and hip hop, all kinds of hip hop. i was really restless but i had to go home to tutor. :(
i came early to use the dance studio. ooh the feeling was really good. it's better than dancing in front of the black mirrors. it felt really good. kyaa~
Ah, i really hate it when people just interrupt my schedule. or when people suddenly demand or expect things from someone else. yes i feel it more when they do that to me. but i never say anything. don't know how to.
oh i really want to continue language lessons but i don't practice and i can't remember much. will start studying again tomorrow wee~
Ah, dailymotion is getting on my nerves. just download quickly so i can watch!! i don't know why my computer's so slow the past week. i'll give up, shall sleep and try watching tmr.
i came early to use the dance studio. ooh the feeling was really good. it's better than dancing in front of the black mirrors. it felt really good. kyaa~
Ah, i really hate it when people just interrupt my schedule. or when people suddenly demand or expect things from someone else. yes i feel it more when they do that to me. but i never say anything. don't know how to.
oh i really want to continue language lessons but i don't practice and i can't remember much. will start studying again tomorrow wee~
Ah, dailymotion is getting on my nerves. just download quickly so i can watch!! i don't know why my computer's so slow the past week. i'll give up, shall sleep and try watching tmr.
Friday, October 8, 2010
WEE~ TSD PRACTICAL IS OVER!!!
it wasn't the best by faaarrrr. (sorry mike) but it's still over. sighs of relief. now i can continue watching my videos wooppee~
lalalalala i'm loving it
met a new friend name Nigel. another kpop fan LAWL
but he likes 2NE1. good taste good taste. better than SNSD hehehehee...
it wasn't the best by faaarrrr. (sorry mike) but it's still over. sighs of relief. now i can continue watching my videos wooppee~
lalalalala i'm loving it
met a new friend name Nigel. another kpop fan LAWL
but he likes 2NE1. good taste good taste. better than SNSD hehehehee...
Sunday, October 3, 2010
went to siti's house on saturday =) the food was really nice yum yum >< saw miza too =) been really unproductive the past few days =( need to start working hard for tsd practical.
class outing tmr~
got paid yesterday too but spend it all already, paying for piano exam. now i really need to practice hard for it too. it's 2.30 in the morning but i dnt feel sleepy at all. hmm...
body aching. it's a bad sign cos it means im really out of shape (never was in it in the first place) but it means im getting better yay!
class outing tmr~
got paid yesterday too but spend it all already, paying for piano exam. now i really need to practice hard for it too. it's 2.30 in the morning but i dnt feel sleepy at all. hmm...
body aching. it's a bad sign cos it means im really out of shape (never was in it in the first place) but it means im getting better yay!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wah, promos are finally over for me! But I didn't end it well for maths =( and what got me further down then was how everyone seemed fine with it. so it felt like I was the only one who really flunked it. and I like maths and it was always my strongest subject, so it was a big blow. and I've never failed a paper before (haha assignments in jc don't count!) so it's a lot to take in. I have to get used to failure.
after tsd paper, Mike Geri and I went to the mirrors. I didn't feel like doing anything but I changed out anw and got straight into training. since I couldn't stay long, I just did stretches (I was freaking bloody stiff!) and some choreo. Then Nan came along for a while and I really wished then that everyone would finish their promos already and start dancing together again! I can't wait for 11 Oct =))) I don't really miss dancing at black mirrors as much as I miss going to a dance studio. Probably cos I wish really badly to have a studio at my home like Mike. When I get my own house, there'll be one dance studio, one gym and one music studio. WOOTS~
I really need to listen to more songs and more types of songs, but I don't know who to listen to. And the American hip hop songs are just bleargh. So I need to source my hip hop songs from somewhere....???
Wah SHINEE is making a comeback today! A day after Promos end, how perfect! Can't wait for their performance later on <333 Hello hello! And I'm so happy Taemin and Minho gets to sing more but I wish the distribution of lyrics will be better so Key doesn't get too left out. But it seems like Taemin is going to surpass Key vocally o.O or maybe everyone's (including me) just really going crazy over Taemin's voice since we don't really get to hear it so everyone's attention is on Taemin. I mean we're already used to mainly listening to Onew, Jonghyun and Key and we already know how great their voices are, and suddenly there's Taemin's angelic voice haha! I wonder how they do it. They just finished promoting Lucifer, had SMTown concert at a few countries and now they're back for a new promotion. Are they robots or what? :/ How tired they must be. And 2NE1 too! Promotions for 3 songs at one go. And we're all here complaining about just studying. Imagine doing all this and having to school too like Taemin. What then?
I need to get new shoes! I'm seriously really tight for money =(
Stuff I need to fork out for
- Piano practical exam
- Shoes (my sole's coming out)
- Idris' dance class (if he still wants to go)
- And I wanna go for dance class!!!
Aiya!
And I'm gonna have to start planning what to do after Promos. Plan tsd practice, training and if i can get a holiday job that'll be awesome. I'm so hoping I can get casted again, but I'll really have to wait and see how it goes.
after tsd paper, Mike Geri and I went to the mirrors. I didn't feel like doing anything but I changed out anw and got straight into training. since I couldn't stay long, I just did stretches (I was freaking bloody stiff!) and some choreo. Then Nan came along for a while and I really wished then that everyone would finish their promos already and start dancing together again! I can't wait for 11 Oct =))) I don't really miss dancing at black mirrors as much as I miss going to a dance studio. Probably cos I wish really badly to have a studio at my home like Mike. When I get my own house, there'll be one dance studio, one gym and one music studio. WOOTS~
I really need to listen to more songs and more types of songs, but I don't know who to listen to. And the American hip hop songs are just bleargh. So I need to source my hip hop songs from somewhere....???
Wah SHINEE is making a comeback today! A day after Promos end, how perfect! Can't wait for their performance later on <333 Hello hello! And I'm so happy Taemin and Minho gets to sing more but I wish the distribution of lyrics will be better so Key doesn't get too left out. But it seems like Taemin is going to surpass Key vocally o.O or maybe everyone's (including me) just really going crazy over Taemin's voice since we don't really get to hear it so everyone's attention is on Taemin. I mean we're already used to mainly listening to Onew, Jonghyun and Key and we already know how great their voices are, and suddenly there's Taemin's angelic voice haha! I wonder how they do it. They just finished promoting Lucifer, had SMTown concert at a few countries and now they're back for a new promotion. Are they robots or what? :/ How tired they must be. And 2NE1 too! Promotions for 3 songs at one go. And we're all here complaining about just studying. Imagine doing all this and having to school too like Taemin. What then?
I need to get new shoes! I'm seriously really tight for money =(
Stuff I need to fork out for
- Piano practical exam
- Shoes (my sole's coming out)
- Idris' dance class (if he still wants to go)
- And I wanna go for dance class!!!
Aiya!
And I'm gonna have to start planning what to do after Promos. Plan tsd practice, training and if i can get a holiday job that'll be awesome. I'm so hoping I can get casted again, but I'll really have to wait and see how it goes.
Monday, September 20, 2010
haha been so long since i posted. lots to talk about but not much time to blog.
it feels good to have someone to be concerned for me. thanks a lot =)
jiayou for promos!!!
the great thing about a one-sided love is that you don't have to fork out money for the other person for gifts etc, it can sum up to a lot. the other great thing is that you have freedom, there are no ties. and then you also don't have to worry about the other person. it also allows you to look at the person from afar and not expect anything in return. the great thing about it is also that you can break it off anytime you want to because you're the only one who gets hurt. but then a one-sided love just goes to show that the two people don't have the courage to love.
Personal taste <3
it feels good to have someone to be concerned for me. thanks a lot =)
jiayou for promos!!!
the great thing about a one-sided love is that you don't have to fork out money for the other person for gifts etc, it can sum up to a lot. the other great thing is that you have freedom, there are no ties. and then you also don't have to worry about the other person. it also allows you to look at the person from afar and not expect anything in return. the great thing about it is also that you can break it off anytime you want to because you're the only one who gets hurt. but then a one-sided love just goes to show that the two people don't have the courage to love.
Personal taste <3
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
" The worst kind of meeting is a meeting like a fish. Since the more you meet, the fishier the smell gets.
The kind of meeting you should be most cautious of is a meeting like a flower blossom. Since when it's blooming it's a joy, but once it shrivels it is thrown away.
The kind of meeting that's the most beautiful is a meeting like a handkerchief. When things are rough your sweat is wiped away and when you're sad your tears are wiped away. "
~i like this paragraph~
The kind of meeting you should be most cautious of is a meeting like a flower blossom. Since when it's blooming it's a joy, but once it shrivels it is thrown away.
The kind of meeting that's the most beautiful is a meeting like a handkerchief. When things are rough your sweat is wiped away and when you're sad your tears are wiped away. "
~i like this paragraph~
So far June holidays haven't been a holiday. Duh. Even if I'm watching TV or just slacking, there's always that pressure. It's only CTs but a lot is at stake.
1st week of June hols, I went to the Pre-U Sem at NUS. It was a 5day4night thing. It was really cool cos
1) My grpmates are rlly awesome. Somehow we just clicked and that was damn cool. Met another TSD person. Met another Kpop fan. And Denice and Jervy are really the jie jie and ge ge. And I really respect my grpmates la.. all smart,dedicated and passionate bunch of ppl. And we had the twin towers in our group. Or some ppl call them G1 and G2. Ryan and Weize are freaking talll!!!!!
2) I learned quite a number of things. Had more experiences too. Some stuff was like a refresher, I knew it but I don't really think about it and then I got reminded so it was like Oh! Gained a few insights too cos of the PM speech, parallel presentations and panel discussions. The professionals were really professional. On the third day one of the guest speaker for the panel discussion was the high ambassador, so in whichever country he goes to he represents Singapore. That's damn cool la. The guys is like top top. And he had to leave about halfway to meet the PM of Papa New Guinea o.O and he just came back from Canada the day before o.O k, i don't know what my point is but cool stuff..and I got to experience what hostel life is like. It's quite awesome. It's actually really conducive for studying cos the stuff I brought in the dorm were my study materials and Pre-U sem stuff so it's not cluttered with other misc stuff and it's not distracting. Also cos there's no computer in there. And at PGP everybody got a room to themselves so we can do whatever we want and it's just comfortable cos we have our own space. Also the one thing I was reminded of is don't make fun of geeks or the smarty pants or people that are nerdy cos we need them. We need their brains. And we can laugh at them or make fun of them but most likely they'll be our boses or the stuff we will be using were created or initiated by them. Also immigrants or any blue collared job holders, just cos they don't get paid much, doesn't mean their worthless or trash or whatever. Singaporeans don't wanna clean the public toilets, they don't want to toil under the hot sun all day long and so we need these people. And all the complaints about immigrants clogging Singapore or stealing our national identity or making Singapore unsafe etc etc.. well just remember that we need them. And it's because we need them that they're here, that they're attracted to come here. If we don't want them around well, have more babies. And it's not solely their fault for not understanding our culture, we need to help them integrate too.
So that was how week one pass.
Other stuff that happened was Science Camp performance. It wasn't great but it was still a stepping stone for us.
The last week was split between self prac, tutoring, mugging, sleeping, slacking.
It's the third week now. holy macaroni.
Mug mug mug for CTs!!!
Why I need to do well for CTs:
1) Cos I'd be super guilty and ashammed and will most likely kill myself if I don't do well thoughh it's only 15%.
2) Cos I don't wanna get banned from training/performances in T3 and T4.
3) Cos I don't want my parents to have heart attack.
4) Cos I have to set a good example to my little brother who's taking PSLE this year. Damn, PSLE was so long ago for me.
Greg's gone and I couldn't and so I didn't send him off. I miss him and I will continue missing him I guess. And I hope and pray he's well wherever he is and that he remembers his friends here, he remembers 11AO1E, that he would remember me.
K go mug =)
Sometimes I wish I can fall asleep in someone's arms even if it's just for a little while.
1st week of June hols, I went to the Pre-U Sem at NUS. It was a 5day4night thing. It was really cool cos
1) My grpmates are rlly awesome. Somehow we just clicked and that was damn cool. Met another TSD person. Met another Kpop fan. And Denice and Jervy are really the jie jie and ge ge. And I really respect my grpmates la.. all smart,dedicated and passionate bunch of ppl. And we had the twin towers in our group. Or some ppl call them G1 and G2. Ryan and Weize are freaking talll!!!!!
2) I learned quite a number of things. Had more experiences too. Some stuff was like a refresher, I knew it but I don't really think about it and then I got reminded so it was like Oh! Gained a few insights too cos of the PM speech, parallel presentations and panel discussions. The professionals were really professional. On the third day one of the guest speaker for the panel discussion was the high ambassador, so in whichever country he goes to he represents Singapore. That's damn cool la. The guys is like top top. And he had to leave about halfway to meet the PM of Papa New Guinea o.O and he just came back from Canada the day before o.O k, i don't know what my point is but cool stuff..and I got to experience what hostel life is like. It's quite awesome. It's actually really conducive for studying cos the stuff I brought in the dorm were my study materials and Pre-U sem stuff so it's not cluttered with other misc stuff and it's not distracting. Also cos there's no computer in there. And at PGP everybody got a room to themselves so we can do whatever we want and it's just comfortable cos we have our own space. Also the one thing I was reminded of is don't make fun of geeks or the smarty pants or people that are nerdy cos we need them. We need their brains. And we can laugh at them or make fun of them but most likely they'll be our boses or the stuff we will be using were created or initiated by them. Also immigrants or any blue collared job holders, just cos they don't get paid much, doesn't mean their worthless or trash or whatever. Singaporeans don't wanna clean the public toilets, they don't want to toil under the hot sun all day long and so we need these people. And all the complaints about immigrants clogging Singapore or stealing our national identity or making Singapore unsafe etc etc.. well just remember that we need them. And it's because we need them that they're here, that they're attracted to come here. If we don't want them around well, have more babies. And it's not solely their fault for not understanding our culture, we need to help them integrate too.
So that was how week one pass.
Other stuff that happened was Science Camp performance. It wasn't great but it was still a stepping stone for us.
The last week was split between self prac, tutoring, mugging, sleeping, slacking.
It's the third week now. holy macaroni.
Mug mug mug for CTs!!!
Why I need to do well for CTs:
1) Cos I'd be super guilty and ashammed and will most likely kill myself if I don't do well thoughh it's only 15%.
2) Cos I don't wanna get banned from training/performances in T3 and T4.
3) Cos I don't want my parents to have heart attack.
4) Cos I have to set a good example to my little brother who's taking PSLE this year. Damn, PSLE was so long ago for me.
Greg's gone and I couldn't and so I didn't send him off. I miss him and I will continue missing him I guess. And I hope and pray he's well wherever he is and that he remembers his friends here, he remembers 11AO1E, that he would remember me.
K go mug =)
Sometimes I wish I can fall asleep in someone's arms even if it's just for a little while.
Monday, May 3, 2010
I ate at Burger Kings for lunch. I'm regretting it now.
I wanna drink orange juice.
I can't stand the fact that my family's watching tv and i'm doing my lit essay.
I'm excited for dance night, but I wish for it to be over and done with so that I can reorganize my messy life. And for that I feel guilty cos it means 1) I'm willing to forget about enjoying the process and the time spent with fellow streeters 2) I'm wishing for farewell to come sooner.
4 months is a short time, but a lot of things have happened, I've made so many mistakes, learnt so many lessons, grown so much more, conquered a few more obstacles and am seeing more down the road. all these happened and i'm praying everyday that these are the moments that i'll keep with me forever. i'm hoping, though it's impossible, this 4 months will replay itself because i don't want to lose the people who made all these possible. soon i'll lose the J2s to their studies. and then i'll lose my friends and even myself to books and notes and probably coffee.
4 months is a short time, but it's enough to write a chapter of my JC life.
4 months is a short time, but it's enough to say i'll be missing you. the days get harder because time is counting down the seconds to the day i'll be losing you and i can't do anything about it.time is a foe i can't fight.
I wanna drink orange juice.
I can't stand the fact that my family's watching tv and i'm doing my lit essay.
I'm excited for dance night, but I wish for it to be over and done with so that I can reorganize my messy life. And for that I feel guilty cos it means 1) I'm willing to forget about enjoying the process and the time spent with fellow streeters 2) I'm wishing for farewell to come sooner.
4 months is a short time, but a lot of things have happened, I've made so many mistakes, learnt so many lessons, grown so much more, conquered a few more obstacles and am seeing more down the road. all these happened and i'm praying everyday that these are the moments that i'll keep with me forever. i'm hoping, though it's impossible, this 4 months will replay itself because i don't want to lose the people who made all these possible. soon i'll lose the J2s to their studies. and then i'll lose my friends and even myself to books and notes and probably coffee.
4 months is a short time, but it's enough to write a chapter of my JC life.
4 months is a short time, but it's enough to say i'll be missing you. the days get harder because time is counting down the seconds to the day i'll be losing you and i can't do anything about it.time is a foe i can't fight.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
currently i just feel drained, tired. somehow i like it, but i know it's bad. i don't feel like doing any work. i just feel like wasting the night watching videos on youtube, listening to music and just waste the night away. it's bad but somehow i can't do anything. i don't feel like doing anything, and even when i try it's almost as good if i just sleep the whole night. i'll try to change. readjust my body system. i'm tired, but i like it a lot.
Friday, April 9, 2010
A lot of stuff has happened since I entered RJC. Here's the list
1) orientation - OG
2) meeting my class for the first time, getting my subject combi & time table
3) trying out for streets & getting into streets
4) streets- street11 & seniors, danceworks, dance night, EXCO
5) loads and loads of homework and stuff to do
6) filming
ORIENTATION
One of the best times of my life, I guess. The activities that we did were all damn fun. And through it, I bonded with my fellow OGmates and OGL
OG name: Go change your OG name la!
OGL: Justin, Ramyia, Tze Qing
Glampa and Glamma: Kailun and Sheryl Tan
Joshua Chia, Yunfei, Dennis, Adi, Wei Yang, Prakhar, Zhengli, Timothy
Geraldine, Carina, Su San, Cheryl, Chriselle, Alison, Michelle, Rebekah
Being with my OG makes me feel like I'm at home. I can be shit crazy and I can be running all over the place, I can be serious and focused, I can be me. The whole team spirit is awesome. Even if we didn't get any price of whatever, it doesn't matter cos nobody else can ever replace anybody in our OG. The experience won't be the same. If someone else took over someone, the experience will be a whole lot different. I can't say it'd be better or worse, but even if the experience is better, it still can't beat this cos it's already so special and unique and I won't change it for all the chocolates in the world (and that's saying something)
MEETING CLASS FOR THE FIRST TIME
My class is 11A01E. When I first saw my class, I was already excited cos there were a lot of ppl I already knew. There's Atiqah, Vanessa, Nandita and Leena my RG friends :) And the rest of my class was also plain crazy ppl, in a good way :) when i got my time table i was like bloody hell. but i was so damn glad that i got the subjects that i opted for. From the first day, I could already feel that I will grow to love my class, and now I do. And I'm still sad that some of them transferred to HP. but if that's what they really wanna do, then instead of stopping them, we should encourage their passions. of course we also have new additions to our family, Eli and Greg :)
1) orientation - OG
2) meeting my class for the first time, getting my subject combi & time table
3) trying out for streets & getting into streets
4) streets- street11 & seniors, danceworks, dance night, EXCO
5) loads and loads of homework and stuff to do
6) filming
ORIENTATION
One of the best times of my life, I guess. The activities that we did were all damn fun. And through it, I bonded with my fellow OGmates and OGL
OG name: Go change your OG name la!
OGL: Justin, Ramyia, Tze Qing
Glampa and Glamma: Kailun and Sheryl Tan
Joshua Chia, Yunfei, Dennis, Adi, Wei Yang, Prakhar, Zhengli, Timothy
Geraldine, Carina, Su San, Cheryl, Chriselle, Alison, Michelle, Rebekah
Being with my OG makes me feel like I'm at home. I can be shit crazy and I can be running all over the place, I can be serious and focused, I can be me. The whole team spirit is awesome. Even if we didn't get any price of whatever, it doesn't matter cos nobody else can ever replace anybody in our OG. The experience won't be the same. If someone else took over someone, the experience will be a whole lot different. I can't say it'd be better or worse, but even if the experience is better, it still can't beat this cos it's already so special and unique and I won't change it for all the chocolates in the world (and that's saying something)
MEETING CLASS FOR THE FIRST TIME
My class is 11A01E. When I first saw my class, I was already excited cos there were a lot of ppl I already knew. There's Atiqah, Vanessa, Nandita and Leena my RG friends :) And the rest of my class was also plain crazy ppl, in a good way :) when i got my time table i was like bloody hell. but i was so damn glad that i got the subjects that i opted for. From the first day, I could already feel that I will grow to love my class, and now I do. And I'm still sad that some of them transferred to HP. but if that's what they really wanna do, then instead of stopping them, we should encourage their passions. of course we also have new additions to our family, Eli and Greg :)
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