Wow.. time just zips by and it's now 2010!
3 weeks just goes by quickly, and while we were all swearing and cussing and working hard and having major fun during rehearsals, we suddenly came to show time! opening night was on monday, and closing show was on wednesday. the audience were all wonderful. wednesday's audience were even more ticklish. it was all major major fun. there's no way to describe it. the rush is awesome. i was a dresser, and i felt it. the actors and actresses were probably on adrenaline high haha!
we closed the show successfully! woots! go chesnuts! we're all nut-ters!
haha.. kuddoes to everyone =DDD
on monday night, after show, we all went to eat prata. there was alycia, melissa, keng kiat, hatta and others. there was 8 of us. i had ice cream prata! haha who knew that exists! it was a crispy prata with 3 scoops of ice cream (one each of chocolate, strawberry and vanilla) and lots of cream and chocolate and strawberry syrup. but honestly, i got sick of the cream and syrup about 1/4 through the prata. after that i got home at 2.15am. wOw.
on tuesday night, they all went to eat but i went back home with kamal since he's going home too. walau... on the night we went home, more people wanted to eat supper. jon, joakim, ghaz, hatta and more cast joined the other 6. i reached home at 12+ am.
on wednesday night, after the show, we had a cast party at haji lane. just ate wedges, chips and drank green tea and sprite. the cast were all getting high and crazy (these people don't need alcohol). the room was basically divided into: crew, cast, youngsters (peixin, kai wei, belinda, genevieve, jasmine, haky. mr bang joined us. nicholas went to the smoking side -_-), and those who were drinking and smoking. and some were drifters (i dunno what to call them), they just move around the room a lot. it was fun. i wasn't in the fun but it was still cool to watch. haha. i swear theater people are pure crazy. after a while ppl started to leave. oh yeah HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUCY! haha
so people started leaving. gave hugs to loads of ppl as they leave. dwayne kept thinking i was going off because i stood up a lot of times to give hugs to those who were leaving. and then suddenly the room become a lot more spacier. and we sat down and talked about past productions. they were talking about H is for Hantu, when the topic suddenly became about hantu. lol... then after a while, all of us went home. kamal dropped me off my place first. thanks! i reached home at about 3.20am. wOwee..
the next day, we had to go to jubilee again to bump out. we're all sleepy. i couldn't walk straight. mel had a hangover, diarrhea and fever. when i reached there, they've already loaded the couch into the lorry :( the couch is damn shiok. while we waited for our cues backstage, peixin, lucy, joakim, johannes and i would chill there. haha and other casts would also just sit there to watch the rest on stage when it wasn't their turn to go on. and joakim always sleep on the couch. aiyo.. he's so tired :(
then we cab to siglap and brought all the props and costumes from the lorry into the room. and while mel, peixin, haky and nic were all eating from our favourite old chang kee, i slept on the couch. hah! shiok! then we went home. mel dropped me off at serangoon mrt. (thank the govt for creating the circle line)
so that's it. chestnuts does christmas like a hard candy virgin is over. sobssobs. hopefully, there'll be more productions to come that i can get involved in :)
for now thank u to all cast and crew for the A-MAH-ZING journey :D thanks to mr bang for roping us in :) FAB-BOOMZ-LOUS!!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Randoms
i watched my sister's keeper tonight.
i didn't stop crying.
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bumping in into jubilee hall on saturday. show's on coming monday.
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oh my god. jc is so near. shit. i just graduated from sec sch, come on... bleargh
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missed rc's christmas party on wednesday :( hope it went really well. i miss a lot of things.
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still not done with cleaning up my room. can 2010 come slower?
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my birthday next year is 20.10.2010
cool huh?
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went for mendaki graduation last saturday. it wasn't anything like a graduation, i didn't feel like celebrating or even crying for graduating. all the sec 1-3s that were there, why were they even there? they don't know us. they're bidding us farewell. what's the point? we didn't help them, we don't know them either. other than us knowing some of them because we were from the same school. a really big thanks for those who organized the graduation party though. the effort is appreciated even though the reasons aren't clear. i was sorry that more of sec 4s didn't turn up. it would've been nice to see everybody one more time. probably one last time. the RI ppl, we'll see them next year. but the VS dudes, those from CGS and others.
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on wednesday night, my family picked me up after work. my dad drove through orchard road. the lights were pretty. sarah fell asleep in the car. aiyo...
i didn't stop crying.
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bumping in into jubilee hall on saturday. show's on coming monday.
---
oh my god. jc is so near. shit. i just graduated from sec sch, come on... bleargh
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missed rc's christmas party on wednesday :( hope it went really well. i miss a lot of things.
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still not done with cleaning up my room. can 2010 come slower?
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my birthday next year is 20.10.2010
cool huh?
---
went for mendaki graduation last saturday. it wasn't anything like a graduation, i didn't feel like celebrating or even crying for graduating. all the sec 1-3s that were there, why were they even there? they don't know us. they're bidding us farewell. what's the point? we didn't help them, we don't know them either. other than us knowing some of them because we were from the same school. a really big thanks for those who organized the graduation party though. the effort is appreciated even though the reasons aren't clear. i was sorry that more of sec 4s didn't turn up. it would've been nice to see everybody one more time. probably one last time. the RI ppl, we'll see them next year. but the VS dudes, those from CGS and others.
---
on wednesday night, my family picked me up after work. my dad drove through orchard road. the lights were pretty. sarah fell asleep in the car. aiyo...
Monday, December 14, 2009
today was the second day of work. we were supposed to meet at serangoon mrt at 10am. i thought that it'd take forever to get there. drop at amk, take some bus. and i need time to get lost and find my way. then my brother called and said 'you can take the circle line.' so the whole journey was only about half an hour. so since in left house at 8.30, i reached there at about 9.10.
we went to this really cool but really humid place to source out for props. melissa took some photos so that she can show them to the director, so he can pick out the most suitable prop, and we'll rent the prop he wants.
then went to paya lebar, we ate at kfc. i didn't eat. no money :( sobs. and i wasn't that hungry cos i ate a heavy breakfast. 2 pieces of plain bread before i left home, and a bun, a packet of hello panda bear chocolate biscuits and a packet of chocolate HL milk while waiting for the rest to come.
ok, there were 5 of us.
Melissa: she is the stage manager of our production. scary job. but she's really good at it. salute salute. she can really multitask. example. during rehearsal. within one minute. cue-ing the props when they are supposed to come out and telling us clueless backstage ppl where to position it, cue lights, correct the actor when he made a mistake with his lines. cool huh? she's only 19. she's in NAFA studying theater studies. she's got loads of experience, from dresser and props to now SM.
Iqmal: 18. NAFA, theater studies. He's been in a lot of outside productions. He's been an ASM before which is as tough as SM. Hmm... i don't really know his history that well. but he's been in english drama since young; so, he has lots of experience i bet. and i can see how his face brightens up just by talking about his passion (i asked all of them how they got into theater) and it's just really nice.
Nicholas: 15, SOTA, theater studies. jeez, he's younger than me. GASP! and way cooler than me. he does not look 15. he's tall and he's slim but built so he looks 17. honestly, i don't know if i've spelt his name right. he's been acting since young. he's been on tv a lot of times. cool huh? and other than our production, he is involved in another one too. doing lights. cool.
Kai Wei: 14, RGS, International Dance. she has lots of passion in what she does. and i hope my techniques can be as good as hers one day. of course, that means i have to work really hard.
Big salute to all my fellow CHESTNUT-TERS! It's really cool how they follow their passion, they know what they wanna do and still do it despite the odds. so it's really uber awesome. i mean to know so early, and to say i'm not going to do maths or science or take on any of those common paths, i'm going to do theater because i love it. and they thank their parents for the support too.
-----------
tomorrow night is my last chinese lesson for stage 1. next month, end of january, we will be starting on stage 2. that means tomorrow is my last time seeing Alina. I think that's how her name is spelt. I don't even know her full name.
She's korean. about 20 plus, i guess 23? she has graduated from university. she's in singapore because her korean company has opened brunches in our little country. i remember the first time we actually talked, i think it was like the 6th lesson or so (i wish i had talked to her earlier). she asked me why i wanna learn chinese. so i told her that i am a chinese and i felt that it's really wrong for me not to learn it. we talked a bit about our education system. and i learned that in korea, they start school at 8.30. ZOMG. she asked the difference about JC and Poly, and i told her that we also have ITE and she asked how we get to university from there. she also said that they have uniforms only for junior high school (secondary school) and high school (JC). everybody has to attend high school. no uniform for elementary school (primary school). and she said she was bored of singapore because there isn't much to see or do here. and she says she misses her hometown. and it really touched me when she said she misses her family. she was like 'oh you live with your family. you're so lucky.' she misses the snow in korea and she likes snowboarding.
she likes DBSK's Micky Yoochun and the character Hwang Tae Kyung in the korean drama You're Beautiful. She knows how to speak japanese too. she also told me about how men have to national service in korea for 2 years. and during those 2 years, they will be away from their families. they only have a few short holidays.
I think she's really cute, pretty, and pure in a way. it's just me i guess. i feel this strange connection to her, i realise i like her. i've never had a sister. and i suppose i would want someone like her to be my sister. she's like a lady, poised and soft spoken, but at the same time she's just a girl. she might wear work clothes (blouse, skirt) to work and then to class, but she misses her family and simple things like snow. even then, she knows that she has to be responsible and works well, even has the desire to learn more, and just look forward to going back home. maybe i even aspire to be like her. simple but not simplistic.
I dunno why i'm talking about her. just that i feel that i should record my memory of her so that i won't forget her. tomorrow is my last time seeing her. she's leaving singapore on the first week of february. because of that, she won't be able to attend stage 2 of chinese cos it starts at end of january.
i will miss her. and i just want to say how thankful i am to her. in the train, on our way home, the 15 minutes we have on every tuesday night, she introduced me to a whole different world, and reminded me again that there's life outside of mine, outside of whatever goes on in singapore. also, aging doesn't mean losing our youth.
however slim the chances may be, i would like to see her again. i wish her a lot of happy and beautiful times with her family when she gets home.
--------
working tomorrow :)
we went to this really cool but really humid place to source out for props. melissa took some photos so that she can show them to the director, so he can pick out the most suitable prop, and we'll rent the prop he wants.
then went to paya lebar, we ate at kfc. i didn't eat. no money :( sobs. and i wasn't that hungry cos i ate a heavy breakfast. 2 pieces of plain bread before i left home, and a bun, a packet of hello panda bear chocolate biscuits and a packet of chocolate HL milk while waiting for the rest to come.
ok, there were 5 of us.
Melissa: she is the stage manager of our production. scary job. but she's really good at it. salute salute. she can really multitask. example. during rehearsal. within one minute. cue-ing the props when they are supposed to come out and telling us clueless backstage ppl where to position it, cue lights, correct the actor when he made a mistake with his lines. cool huh? she's only 19. she's in NAFA studying theater studies. she's got loads of experience, from dresser and props to now SM.
Iqmal: 18. NAFA, theater studies. He's been in a lot of outside productions. He's been an ASM before which is as tough as SM. Hmm... i don't really know his history that well. but he's been in english drama since young; so, he has lots of experience i bet. and i can see how his face brightens up just by talking about his passion (i asked all of them how they got into theater) and it's just really nice.
Nicholas: 15, SOTA, theater studies. jeez, he's younger than me. GASP! and way cooler than me. he does not look 15. he's tall and he's slim but built so he looks 17. honestly, i don't know if i've spelt his name right. he's been acting since young. he's been on tv a lot of times. cool huh? and other than our production, he is involved in another one too. doing lights. cool.
Kai Wei: 14, RGS, International Dance. she has lots of passion in what she does. and i hope my techniques can be as good as hers one day. of course, that means i have to work really hard.
Big salute to all my fellow CHESTNUT-TERS! It's really cool how they follow their passion, they know what they wanna do and still do it despite the odds. so it's really uber awesome. i mean to know so early, and to say i'm not going to do maths or science or take on any of those common paths, i'm going to do theater because i love it. and they thank their parents for the support too.
-----------
tomorrow night is my last chinese lesson for stage 1. next month, end of january, we will be starting on stage 2. that means tomorrow is my last time seeing Alina. I think that's how her name is spelt. I don't even know her full name.
She's korean. about 20 plus, i guess 23? she has graduated from university. she's in singapore because her korean company has opened brunches in our little country. i remember the first time we actually talked, i think it was like the 6th lesson or so (i wish i had talked to her earlier). she asked me why i wanna learn chinese. so i told her that i am a chinese and i felt that it's really wrong for me not to learn it. we talked a bit about our education system. and i learned that in korea, they start school at 8.30. ZOMG. she asked the difference about JC and Poly, and i told her that we also have ITE and she asked how we get to university from there. she also said that they have uniforms only for junior high school (secondary school) and high school (JC). everybody has to attend high school. no uniform for elementary school (primary school). and she said she was bored of singapore because there isn't much to see or do here. and she says she misses her hometown. and it really touched me when she said she misses her family. she was like 'oh you live with your family. you're so lucky.' she misses the snow in korea and she likes snowboarding.
she likes DBSK's Micky Yoochun and the character Hwang Tae Kyung in the korean drama You're Beautiful. She knows how to speak japanese too. she also told me about how men have to national service in korea for 2 years. and during those 2 years, they will be away from their families. they only have a few short holidays.
I think she's really cute, pretty, and pure in a way. it's just me i guess. i feel this strange connection to her, i realise i like her. i've never had a sister. and i suppose i would want someone like her to be my sister. she's like a lady, poised and soft spoken, but at the same time she's just a girl. she might wear work clothes (blouse, skirt) to work and then to class, but she misses her family and simple things like snow. even then, she knows that she has to be responsible and works well, even has the desire to learn more, and just look forward to going back home. maybe i even aspire to be like her. simple but not simplistic.
I dunno why i'm talking about her. just that i feel that i should record my memory of her so that i won't forget her. tomorrow is my last time seeing her. she's leaving singapore on the first week of february. because of that, she won't be able to attend stage 2 of chinese cos it starts at end of january.
i will miss her. and i just want to say how thankful i am to her. in the train, on our way home, the 15 minutes we have on every tuesday night, she introduced me to a whole different world, and reminded me again that there's life outside of mine, outside of whatever goes on in singapore. also, aging doesn't mean losing our youth.
however slim the chances may be, i would like to see her again. i wish her a lot of happy and beautiful times with her family when she gets home.
--------
working tomorrow :)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
drama on saturday surprisingly went awesome. maybe it's cause of the adrenaline, and the whole atmosphere, the ad-libs were really great. haha! sheik was awesome, tukang roti kiram salam sudah!
haha good memories..
i just have little regrets cause i made some mistakes with the lightings, may not be obvious but they're still mistakes.
abang's friends are supposed to come today, and for that, i had to clean up the house while my mom sent adik to the dentist. in the end, they didn't come and i missed the post-drama session for nothing. aiyoo...
haish stomachache now.
haha i love my new hairstyle. wanted to cut it shorter actually, maybe style it to the character Go Mi Nam in You're Beautiful k drama. but i got my haircut before i watched the drama. it's really good. some people compared it to BOF, but they're just different and unique and good in their own ways. there's no reason for comparison.
ok sleepy time...zzzZZZ
haha good memories..
i just have little regrets cause i made some mistakes with the lightings, may not be obvious but they're still mistakes.
abang's friends are supposed to come today, and for that, i had to clean up the house while my mom sent adik to the dentist. in the end, they didn't come and i missed the post-drama session for nothing. aiyoo...
haish stomachache now.
haha i love my new hairstyle. wanted to cut it shorter actually, maybe style it to the character Go Mi Nam in You're Beautiful k drama. but i got my haircut before i watched the drama. it's really good. some people compared it to BOF, but they're just different and unique and good in their own ways. there's no reason for comparison.
ok sleepy time...zzzZZZ
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
it's been a long tiring empty holiday so far. getting a part time job is so difficult. after the artsfest production, i couldn't get used to not being busy. it felt weird not to be in rehearsal, not pushing ourselves to the limit and stretching ourselves more. and when i wasn't busy the last few weeks, i became useless. what did i do so far? eat, sleep, watch tv/movies, youtub-ing, sometimes i play my instruments, sometimes i go running, i go for chinese class and i come for drama rehearsals, i do sit-ins for kavanagh dance. that's about it. all my holiday resolutions disappeared in a puff of smoke. what happened to all the the things i wanted to do? like read more books, like practice more of my music, like actually working and earning money. but now that i'm stuck in the useless stage, i can't seem to do anything even if i wanted to. point of this whole paragraph, what the shit am i doing??
i read other people's comments on facebook. stuff like 'im going to (so and so country) again'. wahlao...i'll be so damn glad if i can go for a holiday. see the world outside that my bedroom windows can't offer. i'll be so glad if i can even go somewhere, see something, experience something new. even if it's to indonesia or even over the causeway to johor to do prawn fishing.
it's been 2 months since we had a family dinner. my brother is supposed to come home from australia tomorrow but he is extending his stay so that he can visit the coral reefs. all i can think of is that when he comes home, i'll need to fight with him for the computer. but even those arguments, i miss them. (i won't say i miss him. i don't.)
i haven't been blogging because there is mothing to blog about. aiya...
in school, in bilik melayu, blogging now.
drama production is on 5 dec.
this is one of the most unsure moments of my life.
siti and i had an interesting talk just now in the ava room. hahaha... i hope all those fantasies and wishes of ours will come true. which reminds me of one thing. no matter how busy, or how 'mature' or how experienced we are, i think we all wish for the same basic thing. it's just that expectations and tight schedules cloud our innocence, but it's still there. so when will it come out again?
i read other people's comments on facebook. stuff like 'im going to (so and so country) again'. wahlao...i'll be so damn glad if i can go for a holiday. see the world outside that my bedroom windows can't offer. i'll be so glad if i can even go somewhere, see something, experience something new. even if it's to indonesia or even over the causeway to johor to do prawn fishing.
it's been 2 months since we had a family dinner. my brother is supposed to come home from australia tomorrow but he is extending his stay so that he can visit the coral reefs. all i can think of is that when he comes home, i'll need to fight with him for the computer. but even those arguments, i miss them. (i won't say i miss him. i don't.)
i haven't been blogging because there is mothing to blog about. aiya...
in school, in bilik melayu, blogging now.
drama production is on 5 dec.
this is one of the most unsure moments of my life.
siti and i had an interesting talk just now in the ava room. hahaha... i hope all those fantasies and wishes of ours will come true. which reminds me of one thing. no matter how busy, or how 'mature' or how experienced we are, i think we all wish for the same basic thing. it's just that expectations and tight schedules cloud our innocence, but it's still there. so when will it come out again?
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Don't tell us our energy is dropping, teach us how to recharge and direct our energy properly.
Don't tell us we were wrong, tell us what our mistakes were so we can correct them, learn and not do them again.
Don't tell us we were good or acceptable or good for a first try or not bad or there's a lot to work on but for now it's ok, teach us how to be better.
Just don't patronise us. If we really made a mistake, don't soften on us. We deserve whatever there is because of that mistake and we deserve to learn too. Just don't go all defensive and harsh and pointing your fingers at us when we don't even realise our mistake. If you want to scold us fine, but we want to know too what exactly is the problem with us.
Don't tell us we were wrong, tell us what our mistakes were so we can correct them, learn and not do them again.
Don't tell us we were good or acceptable or good for a first try or not bad or there's a lot to work on but for now it's ok, teach us how to be better.
Just don't patronise us. If we really made a mistake, don't soften on us. We deserve whatever there is because of that mistake and we deserve to learn too. Just don't go all defensive and harsh and pointing your fingers at us when we don't even realise our mistake. If you want to scold us fine, but we want to know too what exactly is the problem with us.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
got back all my results today...overall GPA is 3.49. missed my targeted GPA by 0.01. yup i aimed for 3.5. yeesh...but my parents are satisfied, and i'm ok with it. so i'm happy about it =)
i decided to go home instead of going for rehearsal cos i'm still feeling sick. so i went home and slept for 3 hrs. other than that, i ate.. check for updates and filed my chem journal. i took 2 hrs. who knew pasting and sticking and organizing can take so long? so...i need to study for chem quiz tmr. dots...and i have to present our grp's business plan tmr. why is it so...not looking forward to tmr.
i've studio recording tmr. shit. im so dead meat. my notes are all wrong. shall go prac tmr cos no time tonight =( i'm not so bad. just can't hit a few notes. like i'll remember how it sounds but what comes out is different. and rhythm. aiya.. lots of work. i hope my head don't conk again tmr.
i decided to go home instead of going for rehearsal cos i'm still feeling sick. so i went home and slept for 3 hrs. other than that, i ate.. check for updates and filed my chem journal. i took 2 hrs. who knew pasting and sticking and organizing can take so long? so...i need to study for chem quiz tmr. dots...and i have to present our grp's business plan tmr. why is it so...not looking forward to tmr.
i've studio recording tmr. shit. im so dead meat. my notes are all wrong. shall go prac tmr cos no time tonight =( i'm not so bad. just can't hit a few notes. like i'll remember how it sounds but what comes out is different. and rhythm. aiya.. lots of work. i hope my head don't conk again tmr.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
i'm tired of being tired. sighss...
got back my results. humanities + eng + maths are good by my standards. physics is so-so. and i just passed bio and chem. i told myself i won't regret my last EYA. just do my best. i told myself that. somehow somewhere along the line something went wrong. this year ends really bad. part of it it's due to the circumstances like H1N1, so we couldn't have trainings and then i had to miss last training cos of ArtsFest. so it's just bullshit. i mean i love being in ArtsFest but Ohana is family and shit i hate to choose something over them. no, this is forced to. i almost couldn't go for POP chalet. i told mum the night before she was just like "No" but somehow she relented? she just sort of let me go. then on saturday morning, i called her and found out that we were supposed to go to my cousin's house. and i didn't know anything about it. i told her that we would end in the morning but it'll probably drag. and somehow she heard it as early morning. she planned to leave at 10.30. even if i leave chalet at 8, i can only reach home almost 10 and what the hell makes her thing that i can prepare by 10.30 to go to my cuz's place? i'll be freaking tired. i need 2 days to wear off saturday's prac. and i haven't had a good rest the whole week cos i had to prepare for options' assessment. i enjoy it but it's mentally tiring, and it's just arranging camera angles. tomorrow, during free block, i have to start editing the clips already. it's fun but why do all the things i enjoy doing taking a big toll on me? and how can i say that i don't wanna do them?? and what just pisses me off is her making plans without informing me. i mean shit if you wanna do things as a family then bloody well do it as a family. and what's with the attitude problem over the phone? i know i always get defensive around you, but you didn't have to mock my way of talking. you're my mum, i love you but please...
i'm supposed to finish my composition, about halfway through. i'll just leave it for tomorrow.
currently i'm sick. had fever last friday, after rehearsal suddenly i felt my body was really warm. when i got home, i bathed, didn't have appetite so i just drank milo and ate a few biscuits, then my temp shot really high. i felt i was burning. and i almost couldn't touch the floor cos it was so cold. i kept tearing. maybe it was also cos i was watching Hotel Rwanda. damn good show. all the while even today, i had this feeling like i wanted to vomit and i have this really bad stomachache that my mum just passes off as gas, like my stomach is bloated. i don't know what...?
i thought of going to the doctor tomorrow, get an mc, but then there's bills. which is ironic cos here i am using the comp. and if i get an mc, i can't do editing tmr and i need to go for rehearsals. i haven't memorise my lines. shit. somehow doing this artsfest is a way of making whatever wrong things right. or to salvage something, i don't know what. part of why this year is ending badly is an accumulation of all the previous years. the things i haven't done enough. like i hadn't contributed enough to rcy, perbayu. and not being committed enough in my studies. and if i can do one thing to the max, be satisfied. just one. perhaps my biggest regret is that i couldn't be a better senior. we laugh when mrs shirley tan said "pass the baton" but i don't even have a baton to pass. the whole of the month, i kept playing over and over again, the things i should've done. maybe i could've listen more to everybody, i should complain less. i don't know what i've done to help others, to impact others' life. i'm not trying to be a hero. i just want to be a good person. and doing the musical. leaving a fond memory for the crew, the audience, making them smile and laugh and cry and just catch a moment of life and share it with them and make a wonderful night to remember, will rectify a small portion of it.
got back my results. humanities + eng + maths are good by my standards. physics is so-so. and i just passed bio and chem. i told myself i won't regret my last EYA. just do my best. i told myself that. somehow somewhere along the line something went wrong. this year ends really bad. part of it it's due to the circumstances like H1N1, so we couldn't have trainings and then i had to miss last training cos of ArtsFest. so it's just bullshit. i mean i love being in ArtsFest but Ohana is family and shit i hate to choose something over them. no, this is forced to. i almost couldn't go for POP chalet. i told mum the night before she was just like "No" but somehow she relented? she just sort of let me go. then on saturday morning, i called her and found out that we were supposed to go to my cousin's house. and i didn't know anything about it. i told her that we would end in the morning but it'll probably drag. and somehow she heard it as early morning. she planned to leave at 10.30. even if i leave chalet at 8, i can only reach home almost 10 and what the hell makes her thing that i can prepare by 10.30 to go to my cuz's place? i'll be freaking tired. i need 2 days to wear off saturday's prac. and i haven't had a good rest the whole week cos i had to prepare for options' assessment. i enjoy it but it's mentally tiring, and it's just arranging camera angles. tomorrow, during free block, i have to start editing the clips already. it's fun but why do all the things i enjoy doing taking a big toll on me? and how can i say that i don't wanna do them?? and what just pisses me off is her making plans without informing me. i mean shit if you wanna do things as a family then bloody well do it as a family. and what's with the attitude problem over the phone? i know i always get defensive around you, but you didn't have to mock my way of talking. you're my mum, i love you but please...
i'm supposed to finish my composition, about halfway through. i'll just leave it for tomorrow.
currently i'm sick. had fever last friday, after rehearsal suddenly i felt my body was really warm. when i got home, i bathed, didn't have appetite so i just drank milo and ate a few biscuits, then my temp shot really high. i felt i was burning. and i almost couldn't touch the floor cos it was so cold. i kept tearing. maybe it was also cos i was watching Hotel Rwanda. damn good show. all the while even today, i had this feeling like i wanted to vomit and i have this really bad stomachache that my mum just passes off as gas, like my stomach is bloated. i don't know what...?
i thought of going to the doctor tomorrow, get an mc, but then there's bills. which is ironic cos here i am using the comp. and if i get an mc, i can't do editing tmr and i need to go for rehearsals. i haven't memorise my lines. shit. somehow doing this artsfest is a way of making whatever wrong things right. or to salvage something, i don't know what. part of why this year is ending badly is an accumulation of all the previous years. the things i haven't done enough. like i hadn't contributed enough to rcy, perbayu. and not being committed enough in my studies. and if i can do one thing to the max, be satisfied. just one. perhaps my biggest regret is that i couldn't be a better senior. we laugh when mrs shirley tan said "pass the baton" but i don't even have a baton to pass. the whole of the month, i kept playing over and over again, the things i should've done. maybe i could've listen more to everybody, i should complain less. i don't know what i've done to help others, to impact others' life. i'm not trying to be a hero. i just want to be a good person. and doing the musical. leaving a fond memory for the crew, the audience, making them smile and laugh and cry and just catch a moment of life and share it with them and make a wonderful night to remember, will rectify a small portion of it.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Whoo...! It's been a really jam packed week. Haven't had a decent sleep since last week. But now that's geog pt is finally over... Yes i'll get a good night's rest tonight =D I'm like dead now. I came home at about 7.45 from Loewen's. Sighs... five years olds can be adorable and so annoying.
I came across this song entitled 'I love you' sang by Choikang Changmin. Then I found out that the song was actually from a band called Position. Then I found out that the song was originally a japanese song sang by Yutaka Ozaki. His voice is like wow...kinda like country style, husky and warm. but he died at the age of 26 due to drug overdose. Such a waste... sighs... and this song was adapted into a korean version. The lyrics aren't the same but both are beautiful :D
Japanese version:
I love you
Just for now, I don't want to hear sad songs
I love you
Escaping and escaping, I finally got to this room
This isn't a love where I was forgiven for everything
The two of us are like abandoned cats
This room is like an empty box, covered in fallen leaves
So you, with a crying voice like a kitten's...
On this creaking bed, instead of holding gentleness
If we can hold each other tightly
and then we'll close our eyes again
with a sad song, for this love not to fade
I love you
The two of us, who are too young
There's an untouchable secret in our love
I love you
I can't arrive at that, in my life right now
The love that piles up and lives on as one
We're only seeing a dream and being hurt
hearing "I love you" over and over,
You can't even go on living without this love
On this creaking bed, instead of holding gentleness
If we can hold each other tightly
and then we'll close our eyes again
with a sad song, for this love not to fade
Korean version:
I love you
There is nothing else I can say to you but 'I love you'
I love you
It seems to have become meaningless but I love you
What use is it now?
We’re going our separate ways
I know we can’t go back<
But I want to hold on to you however I can
I know we’ll meet again someday, if not in this lifetime
I shouldn’t show you a single tear drop
Leave me with the smile that made me fall in love with you
With that one smile, I will always be able to find you again
I love you
Do you remember the trembling feeling I first felt for you?
I love you
I’ve only just realised these words you said
I believed that our love wasn’t meant to be
Because it was too beautiful
Just as I was about to turn away
Like a dream, you came to me with your love<
I know we’ll meet again someday, if not in this lifetime
Leave me with the smile that made me fall in love with you
With that one smile, I will always be able to find you again
If we meet again someday, let’s make a promise
Let’s try not to love each other in this painful, easily separating kind of love
Currently I am annoyed cos I came across a fantastic song and now I forgot its title and I can't find it!
I came across this song entitled 'I love you' sang by Choikang Changmin. Then I found out that the song was actually from a band called Position. Then I found out that the song was originally a japanese song sang by Yutaka Ozaki. His voice is like wow...kinda like country style, husky and warm. but he died at the age of 26 due to drug overdose. Such a waste... sighs... and this song was adapted into a korean version. The lyrics aren't the same but both are beautiful :D
Japanese version:
I love you
Just for now, I don't want to hear sad songs
I love you
Escaping and escaping, I finally got to this room
This isn't a love where I was forgiven for everything
The two of us are like abandoned cats
This room is like an empty box, covered in fallen leaves
So you, with a crying voice like a kitten's...
On this creaking bed, instead of holding gentleness
If we can hold each other tightly
and then we'll close our eyes again
with a sad song, for this love not to fade
I love you
The two of us, who are too young
There's an untouchable secret in our love
I love you
I can't arrive at that, in my life right now
The love that piles up and lives on as one
We're only seeing a dream and being hurt
hearing "I love you" over and over,
You can't even go on living without this love
On this creaking bed, instead of holding gentleness
If we can hold each other tightly
and then we'll close our eyes again
with a sad song, for this love not to fade
Korean version:
I love you
There is nothing else I can say to you but 'I love you'
I love you
It seems to have become meaningless but I love you
What use is it now?
We’re going our separate ways
I know we can’t go back<
But I want to hold on to you however I can
I know we’ll meet again someday, if not in this lifetime
I shouldn’t show you a single tear drop
Leave me with the smile that made me fall in love with you
With that one smile, I will always be able to find you again
I love you
Do you remember the trembling feeling I first felt for you?
I love you
I’ve only just realised these words you said
I believed that our love wasn’t meant to be
Because it was too beautiful
Just as I was about to turn away
Like a dream, you came to me with your love<
I know we’ll meet again someday, if not in this lifetime
Leave me with the smile that made me fall in love with you
With that one smile, I will always be able to find you again
If we meet again someday, let’s make a promise
Let’s try not to love each other in this painful, easily separating kind of love
Currently I am annoyed cos I came across a fantastic song and now I forgot its title and I can't find it!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
funny thing is, i had wondered when i might get a break from my busy schedule and then BOOM! all arts fest cast have been quarantined cos one of us was H1N1 positive. and they wouldn't tell us who she is. sighs... LOA has been ok. slept a lot, cooked a lot (my mum made me since i'm at home. sheesh) and watched a lot of dbsk videos as well =D have to get back to sch tmr. which i guess it's a gd thing. the past week has been hectic as in aimless. yupp.
Friday, July 10, 2009
I'm really going crazy. My mum asks "Why are you doing this?" and even I ask myself that. Always asking that question. But I keep on thinking why not? WHY NOT? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and it's always been something I want to do so why not? I guess it's something to do with being the last year in RG. I want to leave with a sackful of memories and experiences and good times and wonderful friends.
When I wanted to take up the modern jazz class last year, I thought why not? When I joined up FDC and ArtsFest and then cheerleading, why not? Sure it's crazy but I'm doing things that I love so, why not. I think my mum or anybody else should be happy for me because I have my own life that is outside of the books. They should be happy I'm living for something. I have a purpose. I have a focus.
My mum's only complaining now because she had no idea how my schedule was for semester 1. First there was FDC followed by ArtsFest. Then there was cheerleading and YMC CSP. and there was house stuff and CmPs took quite some time from after-school-hours. And I still crazily took third lang. And what about madrasah, piano class, tuition and giving tuition?? And my GPA for midyears was 3.33. That is the highest overall GPA EVER in my RG life. It may not compare much to those who got 3.5 or above but I managed all that, and with help of friends, produced good results. And right now, what I'm thinking is why can't I do that again?
By taking up the school musical, my semester 2 will be packed with (besides school): 3rd lang, cheerleading, modern jazz+ballet+helping out with other stuff at kavanagh dance, madrasah, tuition, giving tuition, piano and the rehearsals. It's about the same as the first semester. And the second semester is a lot shorter.
Maybe I'll die doing all these but at least I'll die smiling.
I really want to be in the National Day parade (school). It will be another chance for me to wear the RCY uniform before we pass out. But rehearsals for that will clash with so many other stuff.
I'm really grateful to Madame Loan. Knowing that I can't make it for french remedials, she sent me extra homework etc through email. At least I know, I have help from her. She's encouraging me to go on because she knows that although I'm weak, I'm still trying to improve my french. I'm trying my best.
Always, throughout my life, I believed that process is what counts the most. If results do not turn up, too bad, I tried and did the best I could. I'll learn from my mistakes and I'll make it work next time. Although this has been a positive thing to bear in my mind, I guess it made me a little too complacent. If my results suck, I tried and I did my best. But looking back, was that really my best? Is my capability that much? Why am I underestimating myself?
I guess stress is a good thing. At least for me, it is. With the sudden change in my schedule, I know a lot better now what is important, what should be prioritised and when it should be prioritised. Sure, by committing to this musical I might lose out in other areas. Kavanagh dance might retract their scholarship. I might suck more at piano because I'll have even less time to practice.
But this time, I really wanna make it right. It's not just about thinking that I've given my all, reassuring myself that I have done just that, but actually really making it work. And this time, I'll make it work. I'll pull off the musical. I can always take jazz and piano exams next year. If I lose the dance scholarship, it's ok. I can get a part time job next year for the fees or something. I'll get my french results up and I'll sit for the DELF exam in Nov. I'll make it.
Right now, everything might just seem too much and that I'm way over confident with myself. But then again, if I don't start off really optimistic, I'd lose my engine a lot faster. Make it or break it. Right now, I just choose to go for it. Try my best. If I really can't cope, well, I'll do something about it. I'll find a solution. I'll find a way.
I just hope that I'll have my family and friends' support throughout the entire way. And if I'm sidetracking in anyway, if I'm losing focus or I become a bad bitch with attitude problem etc, please please bring me right back to earth even if you have to literally slap my head off.
When I wanted to take up the modern jazz class last year, I thought why not? When I joined up FDC and ArtsFest and then cheerleading, why not? Sure it's crazy but I'm doing things that I love so, why not. I think my mum or anybody else should be happy for me because I have my own life that is outside of the books. They should be happy I'm living for something. I have a purpose. I have a focus.
My mum's only complaining now because she had no idea how my schedule was for semester 1. First there was FDC followed by ArtsFest. Then there was cheerleading and YMC CSP. and there was house stuff and CmPs took quite some time from after-school-hours. And I still crazily took third lang. And what about madrasah, piano class, tuition and giving tuition?? And my GPA for midyears was 3.33. That is the highest overall GPA EVER in my RG life. It may not compare much to those who got 3.5 or above but I managed all that, and with help of friends, produced good results. And right now, what I'm thinking is why can't I do that again?
By taking up the school musical, my semester 2 will be packed with (besides school): 3rd lang, cheerleading, modern jazz+ballet+helping out with other stuff at kavanagh dance, madrasah, tuition, giving tuition, piano and the rehearsals. It's about the same as the first semester. And the second semester is a lot shorter.
Maybe I'll die doing all these but at least I'll die smiling.
I really want to be in the National Day parade (school). It will be another chance for me to wear the RCY uniform before we pass out. But rehearsals for that will clash with so many other stuff.
I'm really grateful to Madame Loan. Knowing that I can't make it for french remedials, she sent me extra homework etc through email. At least I know, I have help from her. She's encouraging me to go on because she knows that although I'm weak, I'm still trying to improve my french. I'm trying my best.
Always, throughout my life, I believed that process is what counts the most. If results do not turn up, too bad, I tried and did the best I could. I'll learn from my mistakes and I'll make it work next time. Although this has been a positive thing to bear in my mind, I guess it made me a little too complacent. If my results suck, I tried and I did my best. But looking back, was that really my best? Is my capability that much? Why am I underestimating myself?
I guess stress is a good thing. At least for me, it is. With the sudden change in my schedule, I know a lot better now what is important, what should be prioritised and when it should be prioritised. Sure, by committing to this musical I might lose out in other areas. Kavanagh dance might retract their scholarship. I might suck more at piano because I'll have even less time to practice.
But this time, I really wanna make it right. It's not just about thinking that I've given my all, reassuring myself that I have done just that, but actually really making it work. And this time, I'll make it work. I'll pull off the musical. I can always take jazz and piano exams next year. If I lose the dance scholarship, it's ok. I can get a part time job next year for the fees or something. I'll get my french results up and I'll sit for the DELF exam in Nov. I'll make it.
Right now, everything might just seem too much and that I'm way over confident with myself. But then again, if I don't start off really optimistic, I'd lose my engine a lot faster. Make it or break it. Right now, I just choose to go for it. Try my best. If I really can't cope, well, I'll do something about it. I'll find a solution. I'll find a way.
I just hope that I'll have my family and friends' support throughout the entire way. And if I'm sidetracking in anyway, if I'm losing focus or I become a bad bitch with attitude problem etc, please please bring me right back to earth even if you have to literally slap my head off.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Arts fest, CSP
woah... arts fest is over. it's a happy and sad thing? happy cos i can stop telling half truths to my mum abt why i come home so late, and cos yearmates wldn't have to tell half truths or lies to their parents either. happy cos our hard work is paid off :D and sad cos the experience is over. oh mann... and it's a sad thing that i can't finish this off without having regrets. so to get it off my chest, i'll list them down.
1) i could have come up with better choreography
2) we could've been more productive during sessions, and not have all the editting done last minute
3) i couldve contributed more eg the purchasing of costumes
4) leaving comp halfway for csp
5) getting mad at artsfest-ers at times
and the good things:
1) it was bluidy fun :D we had a reason to laugh at each other MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA. sneaking into the gym and dance studio was fun as well. but the security guard was bloody rude. wth.
2) we get to bond (heh)
3) we get to pig!!! heh bread and tuna. and snackers. and 1.5 litre bottle drinks. pop corn.
4) and i eventually found out taka has a fountain inside of it when siti and i went to shop for FOOD
5) we get to urm use make up in a very urm unique way. haha. who says we have to be girl-y to use make up. hahAA. i think the reaction we got from other competitors and audiences who saw us was priceless. HEHEEE
6) spending time with darling yearmates and sara and carey; it wouldn't be smthg i would trade for anything else
in the end, all the times i smacked huan ying and siti for pulling my hair when tying it, and all the hair loss when pulling out the plastic hair ties, and all the body ache, and all the laughing at each other, and the falling and crawling and rolling on the floor, and the sweat, was paid off :) 1st runners-up baybeh! and kudos to year 3s and year 2s for their hardwork!!!!!! champs and 1st runners-up. woots!!!
---
After performing, siti, ain, sara, and i left for CSP. spent slightly more than 1/2 hr washing the make up of (didn't get to take pics :/). took cab to YM. the uncle didn't know where it was so we asked him to take us to VS. he didn't know where it is. so siti called fidz to get the address. in the cab, we pulled each other's hair some more, trying to remove the hair ties. i loss more hair. and the rest was super tangled up. i broke sara's comb :/
got to YM. i was very very pleasantly surprised when i saw ppl who were beforehand mia like Izzat, and volunteers like Saufi and Syafiq. thanks SO MUCH for coming to help us out. it went a lot better than i thought it could. kudos to fidz and all the GL for handling the kids (5 year olds!). and all the ingenious ways you guys used to distract the kids like playing musical chairs, showing videos of VS dikir barat (whatever fidz) etc even though it wasn't in the programme. that's really brilliant.
Sara and I were in the back room doing up the prizes. it was fun ah. we starting counting oreos and wan wans and mentos sweet (each wrapper has a single sweet, not the long kind. imagine!) to make sure each hamper had equal number of food stuff in it. and we folded and refolded the csp shirt so that it can fit into the A4 lid. and we sorted the notebooks. and then we wrapped everything into hampers! thanks to abang raz and ahmed and firz and syafiq for helping us wrap them. i screwed up the scotchtape, keep tearing it then had to pick the egde again and tearing it. but i could do it in the end! hah!
reflection was really screwed up ah.. in my head i was just like 'i'm glad this is over so that all the bullshit can't ever happen again' unless we're doing another CSP which is not likely. there could've been many things i think that a lot of ppl would have said but those things weren't said. i personally was filtering through my words and then said a much different thing from what i intended to say. oh well. and i was really wow at saufi for seeing through to the heart of things.
then asar-ed at YM. then miza and ain took photos with abang raz. then abg raz carried wiz and ziyad. haha that was funny. then fidz, wiz and ziyad had to leave for VS (bbq at night?!) and then waited for maghrib along with siti, miza, ain, sara, firz and syafiq. and there was a rainbow!!! 2 RAINBOWS! pretty seh... took photographs, started singing and doing the siti jump! being crazyy.
then maghrib-ed. then went to KFC at parkway parade, waited for VS to come. then makan! that was my first burger in months. then... oh the VS ppl were being weird as usual XD dunno what they were doing, laughing and laughing. and then we ate. and oh!!damn pissed man. i wanted to clear my own tray.isn't that like the natural and right thing to do?? but the cleaner took the tray away from my hand. wth. singaporeans are damned pampered. or rather we are being pampered by 'services'. so..urgh..
k fine, and then we played truth or dare. shall try to remember what happened. miza kena, and chose truth. shoot, marry, shag between wiz, fidz, and ziyad. i choked on my coke :/ she shot wiz, married ziyad, shagged fidz. haha siti was like 'i bet wiz's happy being shot by you'. then dares included wiz showing some random person an sms saying 'someone's interested in someone.', ziyad asking a cleaner 'hi may i take your order please?' haha the cleaner was like 'i dunno, you ask the counter.' uhm..oh i had to do truth. the most mushiest thing i've ever said to a guy. that was dumb. then. firz did a dare, langgar someone and said 'oh sayang'. and fidz had to do truth on whom he's attracted to. haha miza and i were like 'either... or...'. XD
then balik! took 966 back with miza, ain, sara and siti and syafiq. then fidz smsed asking to wait. all of us except for miza and syafiq got off at CJC. then ain, sara and siti took 105 straight to jurong east. and so i waited. it was uhm long. phone batt died. wth. then, took a 966 bus abt 45 min later, hoping fidz's inside but he wasn't, then the bus moved off to bukit panjang. and fidz board the bus at some busstop at bukit panjang o.O cos apparently i missed the one he was in. so we talked on the way back. and then yeah, balik and mandi and TIDUR!
all in all it was actually quite a fun day.
1) i could have come up with better choreography
2) we could've been more productive during sessions, and not have all the editting done last minute
3) i couldve contributed more eg the purchasing of costumes
4) leaving comp halfway for csp
5) getting mad at artsfest-ers at times
and the good things:
1) it was bluidy fun :D we had a reason to laugh at each other MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA. sneaking into the gym and dance studio was fun as well. but the security guard was bloody rude. wth.
2) we get to bond (heh)
3) we get to pig!!! heh bread and tuna. and snackers. and 1.5 litre bottle drinks. pop corn.
4) and i eventually found out taka has a fountain inside of it when siti and i went to shop for FOOD
5) we get to urm use make up in a very urm unique way. haha. who says we have to be girl-y to use make up. hahAA. i think the reaction we got from other competitors and audiences who saw us was priceless. HEHEEE
6) spending time with darling yearmates and sara and carey; it wouldn't be smthg i would trade for anything else
in the end, all the times i smacked huan ying and siti for pulling my hair when tying it, and all the hair loss when pulling out the plastic hair ties, and all the body ache, and all the laughing at each other, and the falling and crawling and rolling on the floor, and the sweat, was paid off :) 1st runners-up baybeh! and kudos to year 3s and year 2s for their hardwork!!!!!! champs and 1st runners-up. woots!!!
---
After performing, siti, ain, sara, and i left for CSP. spent slightly more than 1/2 hr washing the make up of (didn't get to take pics :/). took cab to YM. the uncle didn't know where it was so we asked him to take us to VS. he didn't know where it is. so siti called fidz to get the address. in the cab, we pulled each other's hair some more, trying to remove the hair ties. i loss more hair. and the rest was super tangled up. i broke sara's comb :/
got to YM. i was very very pleasantly surprised when i saw ppl who were beforehand mia like Izzat, and volunteers like Saufi and Syafiq. thanks SO MUCH for coming to help us out. it went a lot better than i thought it could. kudos to fidz and all the GL for handling the kids (5 year olds!). and all the ingenious ways you guys used to distract the kids like playing musical chairs, showing videos of VS dikir barat (whatever fidz) etc even though it wasn't in the programme. that's really brilliant.
Sara and I were in the back room doing up the prizes. it was fun ah. we starting counting oreos and wan wans and mentos sweet (each wrapper has a single sweet, not the long kind. imagine!) to make sure each hamper had equal number of food stuff in it. and we folded and refolded the csp shirt so that it can fit into the A4 lid. and we sorted the notebooks. and then we wrapped everything into hampers! thanks to abang raz and ahmed and firz and syafiq for helping us wrap them. i screwed up the scotchtape, keep tearing it then had to pick the egde again and tearing it. but i could do it in the end! hah!
reflection was really screwed up ah.. in my head i was just like 'i'm glad this is over so that all the bullshit can't ever happen again' unless we're doing another CSP which is not likely. there could've been many things i think that a lot of ppl would have said but those things weren't said. i personally was filtering through my words and then said a much different thing from what i intended to say. oh well. and i was really wow at saufi for seeing through to the heart of things.
then asar-ed at YM. then miza and ain took photos with abang raz. then abg raz carried wiz and ziyad. haha that was funny. then fidz, wiz and ziyad had to leave for VS (bbq at night?!) and then waited for maghrib along with siti, miza, ain, sara, firz and syafiq. and there was a rainbow!!! 2 RAINBOWS! pretty seh... took photographs, started singing and doing the siti jump! being crazyy.
then maghrib-ed. then went to KFC at parkway parade, waited for VS to come. then makan! that was my first burger in months. then... oh the VS ppl were being weird as usual XD dunno what they were doing, laughing and laughing. and then we ate. and oh!!damn pissed man. i wanted to clear my own tray.isn't that like the natural and right thing to do?? but the cleaner took the tray away from my hand. wth. singaporeans are damned pampered. or rather we are being pampered by 'services'. so..urgh..
k fine, and then we played truth or dare. shall try to remember what happened. miza kena, and chose truth. shoot, marry, shag between wiz, fidz, and ziyad. i choked on my coke :/ she shot wiz, married ziyad, shagged fidz. haha siti was like 'i bet wiz's happy being shot by you'. then dares included wiz showing some random person an sms saying 'someone's interested in someone.', ziyad asking a cleaner 'hi may i take your order please?' haha the cleaner was like 'i dunno, you ask the counter.' uhm..oh i had to do truth. the most mushiest thing i've ever said to a guy. that was dumb. then. firz did a dare, langgar someone and said 'oh sayang'. and fidz had to do truth on whom he's attracted to. haha miza and i were like 'either... or...'. XD
then balik! took 966 back with miza, ain, sara and siti and syafiq. then fidz smsed asking to wait. all of us except for miza and syafiq got off at CJC. then ain, sara and siti took 105 straight to jurong east. and so i waited. it was uhm long. phone batt died. wth. then, took a 966 bus abt 45 min later, hoping fidz's inside but he wasn't, then the bus moved off to bukit panjang. and fidz board the bus at some busstop at bukit panjang o.O cos apparently i missed the one he was in. so we talked on the way back. and then yeah, balik and mandi and TIDUR!
all in all it was actually quite a fun day.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
i should be studying chemistry. because there is spa tomorrow. but i really can't bring myself to care anymore. part of my brain says, "it's ok, let the school stress more if we aren't doing well in chemistry." i wonder if they care in the first place?
god, the irony of it all. wholistic education yadayadayada... if there's any school that never follows what it says, it's our school. our school has a history of twisting everything such that they fool us into getting their way.
"developing potentials and talents". nope, not really. i've never really understood why we have to go through trials to get into CCA, congress and all the leadership position. sure, it helps to narrow down those who can benefit the organization/club. but since when do the sch have a right to say that some people don't have enough of the leadership skills/quality to make it into the PSB etc? what happened to developing talents and developing a student's potential? yeah someone may suck at badminton or what not, but with hardwork and dedication, that person can be a wonderful player. potential turn into talent. not all is about winning the gold medal and bringing home the challenge trophy. sure we'd love to make the school proud; raise its name. but i think it's time we start doing it for the right reasons.
and all the talk about sportsmanship, generousity and humbleness goes to nothing if what the school is all about is the oh-so prestigious name, the glam and the spotlight (literally). and the irony of collecting ORA funds. quote "we should remember that during this times of economic crisis, there are those who need our help". somewhere along those lines. and here we are, celebrating our 130th anniversary tomorrow, with props that amount to don't know how many hundreds of thousands of dollars. seriously, a light that causes about 10 k each? and how many lights do we have? how about many. plus the pretty pretty costumes that cost a few hundred per costume? yeah, way to go being compassionate during times of economic crisis.
if there's a reason why singapore would go bankrupt one day, i suppose it will be rgs celebrating their 150th anniversary. maybe they'd fly the whole sch to the moon.
---
hmmm...i wonder if whatever i've said is actually banned here. too bad.
god, the irony of it all. wholistic education yadayadayada... if there's any school that never follows what it says, it's our school. our school has a history of twisting everything such that they fool us into getting their way.
"developing potentials and talents". nope, not really. i've never really understood why we have to go through trials to get into CCA, congress and all the leadership position. sure, it helps to narrow down those who can benefit the organization/club. but since when do the sch have a right to say that some people don't have enough of the leadership skills/quality to make it into the PSB etc? what happened to developing talents and developing a student's potential? yeah someone may suck at badminton or what not, but with hardwork and dedication, that person can be a wonderful player. potential turn into talent. not all is about winning the gold medal and bringing home the challenge trophy. sure we'd love to make the school proud; raise its name. but i think it's time we start doing it for the right reasons.
and all the talk about sportsmanship, generousity and humbleness goes to nothing if what the school is all about is the oh-so prestigious name, the glam and the spotlight (literally). and the irony of collecting ORA funds. quote "we should remember that during this times of economic crisis, there are those who need our help". somewhere along those lines. and here we are, celebrating our 130th anniversary tomorrow, with props that amount to don't know how many hundreds of thousands of dollars. seriously, a light that causes about 10 k each? and how many lights do we have? how about many. plus the pretty pretty costumes that cost a few hundred per costume? yeah, way to go being compassionate during times of economic crisis.
if there's a reason why singapore would go bankrupt one day, i suppose it will be rgs celebrating their 150th anniversary. maybe they'd fly the whole sch to the moon.
---
hmmm...i wonder if whatever i've said is actually banned here. too bad.
Friday, February 27, 2009
the last 2 weeks have been really crazy. this week especially. ive always dislike suspense. it's like taking a deep breath before taking the plunge. i hate the anxiety, the thought whether that breath is sufficient for to make it through before we could have another breath.
we have 5 papers and 1 practical next week. so much for spread out. i'd already cried twice this week, first was on tuesday after rs. i didn't know really why i'd cried, it just came out i suppose. just to give me some relief. survival instinct, we'd always want to shelter ourselves. but yeah being stress sucks. thanks to hamizah, afiqah, anu and qiqi who were there to comfort me and to give me a hug and a pat on the shoulders. and the rest of the classmates who were present who didn't ask me what was wrong. silent moral support. that was really nice.
on friday i cried again, but it was pure anger. and then there was the stress as well. i should have better control. it's bad having spectators to your pain. it's bad having to have people see you at your most vulnerable point. no, not embarassing. everybody has their breaking point. i just don't like pity.
Flying without wings- Westlife
Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you found that special thing
You're flying without wings
Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete
Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings
we have 5 papers and 1 practical next week. so much for spread out. i'd already cried twice this week, first was on tuesday after rs. i didn't know really why i'd cried, it just came out i suppose. just to give me some relief. survival instinct, we'd always want to shelter ourselves. but yeah being stress sucks. thanks to hamizah, afiqah, anu and qiqi who were there to comfort me and to give me a hug and a pat on the shoulders. and the rest of the classmates who were present who didn't ask me what was wrong. silent moral support. that was really nice.
on friday i cried again, but it was pure anger. and then there was the stress as well. i should have better control. it's bad having spectators to your pain. it's bad having to have people see you at your most vulnerable point. no, not embarassing. everybody has their breaking point. i just don't like pity.
Flying without wings- Westlife
Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you found that special thing
You're flying without wings
Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete
Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings
my family misses anu. it's been almost 2 weeks since she'd gone. 2 weeks. i didn't even realise time just went by so fast. anu came into our lives about a month ago. and we took care of her for 2 weeks, before her mom decided to have her back. i miss her. i wish i had taken more photos of her. i still remember how she would cry just so that one of us would carry her and walk her around. and everytime someone slid his/her hands under her shoulders to lift her up, she would crane her neck up as if impatient for us to already carry her. and once we carried her, she would stop crying. she love to smile and laugh. she would giggle and then throw this big toothless grin, her two perfect dimples showing. and that little giggle, that little laugh. i doubt anybody can resist smiling back at her. and we all did crazy things just to please her. i spent goodness knows how long doing peek-a-boo just so she would laugh. and her dark brown eyes would glow. she's a happy baby. and i hope she'll grow up to be a happy kid. i remembered carrying her to the piano. she started squirming when i sat down, she didn't like being put down. i opened the piano cover, played a few keys. she got interested i suppose, and then she was leaning forward to press her fist on the keys. it was super cute. she was hitting the keys and smiling.
my mum had to return her to her mother on the 14th of february. i wasn't there to say goodbye, give her one last kiss and carry her one last time. i had already gone to school. i don't know when we can ever see her again. but i've a feeling that those 2 weeks are the only times we would have together. i just hope that wherever she is, or she would be, she'd always be happy and smiling and laughing.
my mum had to return her to her mother on the 14th of february. i wasn't there to say goodbye, give her one last kiss and carry her one last time. i had already gone to school. i don't know when we can ever see her again. but i've a feeling that those 2 weeks are the only times we would have together. i just hope that wherever she is, or she would be, she'd always be happy and smiling and laughing.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
i am so far back in my revision. i ought to kill myself. let's see my maths assignments are not done. but they aren't due anytime soon. i shouldn't be thinking of getting ahead in math when there's so many thing else i haven't catch up on. chem QA is this coming thurs. actually, it's not so bad. i just need to cramcramcram and rememberrememberremember all the details. so it's basically hardcore memorising. what else? i'm suppose to do a book review on ayat-ayat cinta. but after reading the book, i realy don't know what to write. i was crying my eyeballs out especially at the last third of the book. reading the book remind me so much of all the sins and mistakes that i've done. and i feel so small. so helpless. so dependent. i cried in my prayers. i chided myself for letting myself drift futher and further away from Him. I felt embarassed i wasn't as particular about my prayers as i should have. i felt stupid for not giving my 200% concentration when i pray and instead, think of stuff like maths. i cried for not able to be a better sister and daughter and friend. and i just prayed in the end, i can be a better person, and maybe others can find a better friend than me.
---
saturday was a bitter sweet day for me.
it was vday. didn't bother me at all. fatihah gave me a ferrero rocher. omg. thanks so much. i was super hungry cos yearmates didn't buy lunch, the school wasn't selling any halal food. so i ate plain biscuits that sally gave me. and then fatihah came with a ferrero rocher. haha
FDC'09 totally rocks. we were great. i really really think we were great. honestly, yearmates and i were worried and all about our standard, our drill. we were frustrated. what more can we say? how much more can we scold? it's not nice to scold. we don't want to. but it's for the better. it's like drinking what, really strong cough medicine? or cod liver-oil? it's really unpleasant, but for the better. and spirit went down the drain at the wrong time, 2 weeks before comp. juniors were dead, we were disheartened by it.
but on saturday morning, when i came to school, juniors were practicing. and i saw 90 degrees hentak and super nice arm swings. i felt so proud. i felt so happy. because there was that chance where we can walk away smiling, no matter what the positions turn out to be, because we gave in our all.
inside the room was mona, lishan and charlotte. khaing zin came in later. and then jiun came. she cried. and i can't not cry when someone cries. i try to tell her that she had to pull it together cos even if her voice is gone, and she can't command, she was out focal point. we'd crumble if she did. but words stuck, khaing zin was there better for her than i was. but she said what i thought. so i was compensated.
we came out. then gave the juniors banana. i wish they can be more responsive. it's like talking to a wall.
and then the sec threes were crying. i hope they realise by now that spirit is what matters. it's not about what we get, it's what we make of what we get. and despite the downfalls, we turn it to make it our strength.
then we change and pack. everything was really hectic. love sally and huan ying so much for helping out.
got on the bus.
reached the school.
omg the nervousness was really killing me. i couldn't stop bouncing or shaking my hands or taping my feet. i had to move. charlotte was getting the jittery from watching me shake. we were number 34. so the wait was long.
first round came.
i made a mistake :/ an obvious one :///
then it was results time. we held hands. i was gripping lishan's and sandra's so hard. and then the emcee announced. we got first-runners up for south zone. woosh..came out my breath. i didn't realise i was holding it. and then i cried a little. but it was joy all around. we were all smiling. then came the results for the top 12 that would get into the finals. we got into the second round.
we were squad c.
we had lunch, i had the biscuits, and then ferrero rocher :D
then it was into the classroom. final practices.
we got called out. omg... waited for the first school to finish.
waited for the second school to finish, at the entrace of the ground where we're suppose to perform our fancy drill.
entered the ground.
i wasn't so nervous as before.
i don't think any of us were.
we were focused.
and i could feel it. the spirit.
finally.
the music start.
and we did our best.
when the results came out and we got first runners up, i didn't feel disappointed. somehow i kind of expected it. i felt that our squad did our best. there was no regrets. at least for me and yearmates. there wasn't any. yearmates felt at peace. there wasn't 'if i had looked up more' etc. we didn't owe ourselves anything. we gave everything. months of effort, none of it was wasted. if we didn't get champs, it wasn't because we weren't good.
it wasn't like the other school was better so we needn't have put in so much effort cos we would've lost anyway. no, we won. we put in our best, our bestest. and let the judges decide. whatever the outcome, we didn't lose our dignity, pride, and our spirit. RGSRCY can live on.
so congratulations to RGSRCY FDC'09. we didn't let ourselves down.
and congratulations to Cedar for being the champion for NFC 2009.
---
saturday was a bitter sweet day for me.
it was vday. didn't bother me at all. fatihah gave me a ferrero rocher. omg. thanks so much. i was super hungry cos yearmates didn't buy lunch, the school wasn't selling any halal food. so i ate plain biscuits that sally gave me. and then fatihah came with a ferrero rocher. haha
FDC'09 totally rocks. we were great. i really really think we were great. honestly, yearmates and i were worried and all about our standard, our drill. we were frustrated. what more can we say? how much more can we scold? it's not nice to scold. we don't want to. but it's for the better. it's like drinking what, really strong cough medicine? or cod liver-oil? it's really unpleasant, but for the better. and spirit went down the drain at the wrong time, 2 weeks before comp. juniors were dead, we were disheartened by it.
but on saturday morning, when i came to school, juniors were practicing. and i saw 90 degrees hentak and super nice arm swings. i felt so proud. i felt so happy. because there was that chance where we can walk away smiling, no matter what the positions turn out to be, because we gave in our all.
inside the room was mona, lishan and charlotte. khaing zin came in later. and then jiun came. she cried. and i can't not cry when someone cries. i try to tell her that she had to pull it together cos even if her voice is gone, and she can't command, she was out focal point. we'd crumble if she did. but words stuck, khaing zin was there better for her than i was. but she said what i thought. so i was compensated.
we came out. then gave the juniors banana. i wish they can be more responsive. it's like talking to a wall.
and then the sec threes were crying. i hope they realise by now that spirit is what matters. it's not about what we get, it's what we make of what we get. and despite the downfalls, we turn it to make it our strength.
then we change and pack. everything was really hectic. love sally and huan ying so much for helping out.
got on the bus.
reached the school.
omg the nervousness was really killing me. i couldn't stop bouncing or shaking my hands or taping my feet. i had to move. charlotte was getting the jittery from watching me shake. we were number 34. so the wait was long.
first round came.
i made a mistake :/ an obvious one :///
then it was results time. we held hands. i was gripping lishan's and sandra's so hard. and then the emcee announced. we got first-runners up for south zone. woosh..came out my breath. i didn't realise i was holding it. and then i cried a little. but it was joy all around. we were all smiling. then came the results for the top 12 that would get into the finals. we got into the second round.
we were squad c.
we had lunch, i had the biscuits, and then ferrero rocher :D
then it was into the classroom. final practices.
we got called out. omg... waited for the first school to finish.
waited for the second school to finish, at the entrace of the ground where we're suppose to perform our fancy drill.
entered the ground.
i wasn't so nervous as before.
i don't think any of us were.
we were focused.
and i could feel it. the spirit.
finally.
the music start.
and we did our best.
when the results came out and we got first runners up, i didn't feel disappointed. somehow i kind of expected it. i felt that our squad did our best. there was no regrets. at least for me and yearmates. there wasn't any. yearmates felt at peace. there wasn't 'if i had looked up more' etc. we didn't owe ourselves anything. we gave everything. months of effort, none of it was wasted. if we didn't get champs, it wasn't because we weren't good.
it wasn't like the other school was better so we needn't have put in so much effort cos we would've lost anyway. no, we won. we put in our best, our bestest. and let the judges decide. whatever the outcome, we didn't lose our dignity, pride, and our spirit. RGSRCY can live on.
so congratulations to RGSRCY FDC'09. we didn't let ourselves down.
and congratulations to Cedar for being the champion for NFC 2009.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Trademark- only love
2am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough
If we learn to trust
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'll give our dreams just one more chance
Don't let this be our last goodbye
But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
That's something only love can do
"Jacky released me gently and took tissue paper to wipe off my tears. “Remember this. If you ever need me and I’m not around, just wait for me. Because I’ll always be here.”
I nodded.
“I am just like the sun and you the flower. I’ll provide sunlight for you to blossom. Sometimes, clouds will prevent me from reaching you. But you’ll know that I’m always trying to reach you. Just wait for the clouds to clear if you can’t receive my sunlight.”
I nodded. If he kept on talking, I could flood the void deck with my tears.
“Remember: To be happy, you either change the world, or you change your thinking. To be realistic, you have to change your thinking to be happy. But me, I will change the world for you.”
I said nothing because my mouth had been choked with my sobbing.
Gosh oh gosh. Don't wake me up. Please, let time raech a standstill now. Right now. Gosh.
-----
“You’re like the North Pole of a magnet bar, and Jacky is also like the North Pole of a magnet bar. There’s no way for both of you to be close together. There’s a force that’ll always push you both apart. This force is called the obstacle, like interest differences, communication problems and etc.
“However, if you put a metal bar in between, both you magnets will stick to it. And you’ll be close to each other. That metal bar dissolves the force that pushes both of you away. And that metal bar is what we called love.”
-----
“Young lady,” the old man suddenly asked. “Are you just his classmate, a friend?”
He must have been eavesdropping on our conversation. However, I saw no harm in telling him the truth, so I said, “I believe I’m more than that.”
“Alright then, love him while you can. In love, there’s only love or don’t love. Since you love him, do it now.” The old man said. "
- I believe you, Low Kay Hwa
sighs.. i'll get the book soon.
2am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough
If we learn to trust
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'll give our dreams just one more chance
Don't let this be our last goodbye
But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
That's something only love can do
"Jacky released me gently and took tissue paper to wipe off my tears. “Remember this. If you ever need me and I’m not around, just wait for me. Because I’ll always be here.”
I nodded.
“I am just like the sun and you the flower. I’ll provide sunlight for you to blossom. Sometimes, clouds will prevent me from reaching you. But you’ll know that I’m always trying to reach you. Just wait for the clouds to clear if you can’t receive my sunlight.”
I nodded. If he kept on talking, I could flood the void deck with my tears.
“Remember: To be happy, you either change the world, or you change your thinking. To be realistic, you have to change your thinking to be happy. But me, I will change the world for you.”
I said nothing because my mouth had been choked with my sobbing.
Gosh oh gosh. Don't wake me up. Please, let time raech a standstill now. Right now. Gosh.
-----
“You’re like the North Pole of a magnet bar, and Jacky is also like the North Pole of a magnet bar. There’s no way for both of you to be close together. There’s a force that’ll always push you both apart. This force is called the obstacle, like interest differences, communication problems and etc.
“However, if you put a metal bar in between, both you magnets will stick to it. And you’ll be close to each other. That metal bar dissolves the force that pushes both of you away. And that metal bar is what we called love.”
-----
“Young lady,” the old man suddenly asked. “Are you just his classmate, a friend?”
He must have been eavesdropping on our conversation. However, I saw no harm in telling him the truth, so I said, “I believe I’m more than that.”
“Alright then, love him while you can. In love, there’s only love or don’t love. Since you love him, do it now.” The old man said. "
- I believe you, Low Kay Hwa
sighs.. i'll get the book soon.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
It's only been almost 3 weeks since school reopen but it feels as though it's been forever. Yes, time does fly by fast but everyday is so dense and compacted with so many things, it feels like we've been trudging through mud.
Tomorrow isn't a half day. I don't understand why. So what if Chinese New Year is only on next monday, doesn't mean we can't celebrate it in school tomorrow. Yeah we have a performance. To watch. Where's the fun in there? There can't even be a class party. Ok, even is we're gonna have lessons, how come we're not even allow to wear red tomorrow? Pantat.
Hmm... this is so sad. Farhan doesn't want to come home. He said he's not good enough for us and that's why he doesn't deserve to be with us. Unbelievable. But he still calls mum 'Ibu', dad 'Pak', me 'kakak' and my brothers 'abang', so there might still be hope. We celebrated his 10th birthday on 17th jan. His birthday was on 16th jan. Imagine that to be the first time someone celebrates his birthday. The first time that even he celebrates his own birthday. 16th january had always been another ordinary day for him. I hope he turns out well. He's a good kid. He didn't deserve the way he was brought up. If my family can't be the family for him, someone damn well find him a good one soon.
Tomorrow isn't a half day. I don't understand why. So what if Chinese New Year is only on next monday, doesn't mean we can't celebrate it in school tomorrow. Yeah we have a performance. To watch. Where's the fun in there? There can't even be a class party. Ok, even is we're gonna have lessons, how come we're not even allow to wear red tomorrow? Pantat.
Hmm... this is so sad. Farhan doesn't want to come home. He said he's not good enough for us and that's why he doesn't deserve to be with us. Unbelievable. But he still calls mum 'Ibu', dad 'Pak', me 'kakak' and my brothers 'abang', so there might still be hope. We celebrated his 10th birthday on 17th jan. His birthday was on 16th jan. Imagine that to be the first time someone celebrates his birthday. The first time that even he celebrates his own birthday. 16th january had always been another ordinary day for him. I hope he turns out well. He's a good kid. He didn't deserve the way he was brought up. If my family can't be the family for him, someone damn well find him a good one soon.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
first week of school
It's only been officially the 4th day of school (first 2 days were sort of orientation, welcome back to school kind of thing) and i've got work up to my eyeballs. actually i bet almost all sec 4s are pretty worked up right now. i have so many commitments, i shocked myself when i counted my commitments with yearmates in the room on wednesday.
sigh...so i have 3 proposals due this week and 3 tests to study for next week. big deal... i have to stay positive. =) this have got to work.
i have been a good girl so far, i did not fall asleep in class, paid attention in most classes *grins* i've been reading 'Eclipse' under the table. it's quite fun, the excitement and the thrill of almost getting caught. i think that Mrs Teo might have thought I was asleep for 3/4 of her lesson. Physics was one lesson I could divert my attention, she was revising last year's work so it wasn't like i was missing major stuff.
this year, i've got mostly the good teachers. and now i should really work my ass off. i should get a 3.6 so that i can do a H2 in JC. shouldn't be hard right? i mean my last year GPA was only 3.04. sigh..sometimes the only way is to lie bluntly to yourself.
ok so got to go start on one of the proposals.
and she says "be carefull..." maybe all my life I think I might have been too carefull.
sigh...so i have 3 proposals due this week and 3 tests to study for next week. big deal... i have to stay positive. =) this have got to work.
i have been a good girl so far, i did not fall asleep in class, paid attention in most classes *grins* i've been reading 'Eclipse' under the table. it's quite fun, the excitement and the thrill of almost getting caught. i think that Mrs Teo might have thought I was asleep for 3/4 of her lesson. Physics was one lesson I could divert my attention, she was revising last year's work so it wasn't like i was missing major stuff.
this year, i've got mostly the good teachers. and now i should really work my ass off. i should get a 3.6 so that i can do a H2 in JC. shouldn't be hard right? i mean my last year GPA was only 3.04. sigh..sometimes the only way is to lie bluntly to yourself.
ok so got to go start on one of the proposals.
and she says "be carefull..." maybe all my life I think I might have been too carefull.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
New Year Resolution
School has started again. It still feels like a dream. I'm moving in this phase where I'm trying to get out of this holiday mood, and to remind myself that, fortunately and unfortunately, that I have responsibilities. Instead of the four terms that we have, we will only have three terms this year. Time will fly by realy quick. And I'm scared. But still excited. Apprehensive.
My class' form teacher is Mrs Teo Poh Poh and our CLET is Dr Slatter. Seems like a good year ahead. I just gotta keep my head above the water. I have those few people who believe in me, and I've put my faith in people who I know can and would hurt me because I couldn't hurt them. So it's time for me to believe in myself. To be satisfied in what I can do. To learn from what I cannot do. Obstacles be damned.
Lately, I'd enjoyed watching Twilight. There's been so many contradictions of opinions. Some of my friends think that the movie is too boring, because there is more of lovey-dovey scenes rather than action. But by book, it is suppose to be that way, hell the movie would've been longer if it really followed the book.
But I don't mind. Story, music and setting, of course the acting skills are what really matter. Action is just a bonus. Dad says I should get a boyfriend like Edward Cullen. I'm really amused. He said "I don't mind being a vampire. We get to see the world."
Let me sign
Oh
Standing by a broken tree
Her arms all twisted
She's pointing at me
I was damned by the light coming
Over as she
She spoke with a voice
That disrupted the sky
She said "Walk on over, yeah
to this bit of shade
I'll wrap you in my arms"
And she said "Let me sign
Let me sign."
Rob Pattison is an amazing song writer and singer. He puts so much emotion in his songs, the lyrics, the melody and his voice is so beautiful.
My class' form teacher is Mrs Teo Poh Poh and our CLET is Dr Slatter. Seems like a good year ahead. I just gotta keep my head above the water. I have those few people who believe in me, and I've put my faith in people who I know can and would hurt me because I couldn't hurt them. So it's time for me to believe in myself. To be satisfied in what I can do. To learn from what I cannot do. Obstacles be damned.
Lately, I'd enjoyed watching Twilight. There's been so many contradictions of opinions. Some of my friends think that the movie is too boring, because there is more of lovey-dovey scenes rather than action. But by book, it is suppose to be that way, hell the movie would've been longer if it really followed the book.
But I don't mind. Story, music and setting, of course the acting skills are what really matter. Action is just a bonus. Dad says I should get a boyfriend like Edward Cullen. I'm really amused. He said "I don't mind being a vampire. We get to see the world."
Let me sign
Oh
Standing by a broken tree
Her arms all twisted
She's pointing at me
I was damned by the light coming
Over as she
She spoke with a voice
That disrupted the sky
She said "Walk on over, yeah
to this bit of shade
I'll wrap you in my arms"
And she said "Let me sign
Let me sign."
Rob Pattison is an amazing song writer and singer. He puts so much emotion in his songs, the lyrics, the melody and his voice is so beautiful.
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