that's it. french controle over at last and time to focus on my other subjects. but like now im not in the mood to study. it's my night off after dragging and rolling in french ytd and this morn to aftnoon. but mum's pissed cos i watched tv for 45 min which she claimed that it's 1 hr. wth.. then she said there's no pt in me nt gg raya cos i won't study and end up watching tv. wth. i nv said i didnt wanna go raya. i just said i wan it to be shortened. at least for me, they can continue if they want. they shld since farhan is joining us. my god the way she just twisted my words.

im not panicking for exams so im worried.

anyway there's this movie i wanna watch it's called an american mall. funny name but oh well. there's one song i particularly like entitled 'clear'.

On my way, though I don't know where I'm going
On a road that's dark and long
On my way, but I'm fearful that I could be lost
That the path I have chosen might be wrong

When will it be clear that I made the right choice
When can I be sure that I know my own voice
I dream of a day when I'm free from doubt
Where fate winds out
And I overcome my fear
Clear

I don't know where to search for answers
In a world that is afraid
Will I find my strength
And discover who I really I am
Or retreat every time when I don't care

When will it be clear that I made the right choice
When can I be sure that I know my own voice
I dream of a day when I'm free from doubt
Where fate winds out
And I overcome my fear
Clear

I've been told that we learn from our mistakes
But I just don't know how many mistakes it takes
I'm trying so hard to let down my guard
Maybe right now, right here

Clear, that I made the right choice
Sure, that I know my own voice
This is the day when I'm free from doubt
Where fate winds out
And I overcome my fear
Clear

k i shall go slp now. so not in the sch mood.

i wanna have someone to talk to. but it seems like i can never find one. i dunno.. it may be that im the one who's too quiet that i dun talk my heart out to someone. but i haven't actually been able to find that someone to rly pour out to. i guess i dnt mind talking to some of my frens. but i doubt they'd be able to understand the extent of how i rly fl on certain matters n wont be able to say the things to settle my unrest mind. somehow wat i fl and think is like another universe from theirs. what i find important they dnt and vice versa. and tho i haf brothers, im sry but they aren't that significant a role right now. lyk they are there but they are not there. i miss talking to my elder bro but it's not the same now. my esteem of him has dropped and he's always too bz to sit and talk. if there's someone i wanna talk to it'd be my dad. he'd understand. our tempers are similar and yet unlike. but my mind i believe is mostly like his. and he would appreciate what i have to say and counsel me rightly. my mum, she's too straightforward. her mind does not accept abstract. im just sry that we can't be best frens like how some girls are with their mum. or maybe i read too many books.