Ok.. i should really be studying right now but before i forget, i need to blog abt smthg that really touched me. This morning, i had to follow my mum to the market. i was quite grumpy cos i intended to study and tmr sch starts. and the whole sept hols had been taken up my csp camp and aft i got home, my mum asked me to clean up the house. so my days were burnt. yeah..
so i followed my mum to the market. she wanted to buy some stuff for ramadhan. so after she got what she wanted, we went to the coffee shop to get lunch cos she didn't want to cook today cos she wants to clean up the house. so i went to order food for me and my brothers. so while waiting, i was watching the makcik, pakcik and their daughter handling the customers' orders. and i started thinking...
the girl couldn't have been any much older than me. and yet here she is, working. and she wasn't even complaining. and what struck me was how little i had to struggle in my life. mum and dad usually get the neccessary stuff i need in my life. and all i had to do was study hard. i know my family isn't rich ass but we got on by quite well. i don't know how my dad does it and he's pay isn't even above 3k. and per month, for my school, he has to pay quite a lot. and not to mention my brother's school fees and he's not on any scholarship. and what about my younger brother. and he still didn't mind paying for our music classes. and then there comes the bills and he has to pay for the house. and we have handphones. and food and whatever necessities. and i guess i really have been taking things for granted.
and the girl, she helped her parents without any complains. and i was watching her. and it made me sympathize with myself, how little i know and have experienced. and she looked so much matured in terms of what she's been through. and i thought i got it bad cos in order to get what i want, i had to save up for it.
but what struck me most was how they worked together in the stall. mother, father and daughter. and neither was complaining. and it showed their bondness and it struck me how little my family has of that. and in my family, books have been the substitution. and knowing my mum, we all had that mindset that only good grades would satisfy her. never know what to get my parents for their birthday because they have never asked for anything and yeah i know how little i know them. and i've always hoped and worked hard that my gpa would be good enough to be my mum's present. since her birthday is in november and that would be time i get my EOY resuts.
i guess what i've seen today was an inspiration to me and i should start working and studying hard now.
and i'm missing csp very very very much. reading hafiz's blog, i realise how little justice had i given this experience cos my entry abt csp was really short. but whatever experience, i just can't say it, not knowing how to express the gratitude of having the opportunity to go through it and i can only say my heart cherish every moment and my head has been playing through all the fun times we had together.
and i'm missing the kids. wondering what they're all doing now. and it's really sad. we were strangers, and then became a family and now we all have to move on with our separate lives. and i am missing the facilliators too. and yeah esp wisnuh and fidz cos we worked together during the camp as orange's facist. and yeah feena... we get to see each other quite often so it's ok. can't wait for the next ymc meeting. oh.. and thank you fidz for finding my ring. love you for that.