I don't know how else to say this. I know I have a lot of flaws. I hate myself for those flaws and the shit thing is that I can't control myself. I guess this is the after effect of always keeping things to myself. I don't know what's the matter with me. There's not really a someone I can talk to. It's a sad thing but it's something that I have to come to terms with. Even if there's something that I need to talk about, there's no one I feel comfortable talking to. And if there is someone I wanna talk to, wanna talk with, well... that someone is always too busy to give a damn (yes.. you). And of course I have to shut up so as not to disturb that person (you). So, keeping things/feelings etc to myself kinda make me erm... isolated? I hate myself for having those breakdowns and times where i just blow my top. But you have to understand that i only blow when it comes to my breaking point. So please, don't label me as someone who's sensitive or emotionally unstable etc and whatever nonsense it is that you call me. So that's one flaw that I have. And if you don't like me for it, well i don't know what else to do/say. But if would really want to befriend me, you'll have to accept me as I am along with my flaws and mistakes, help me overcome them.
I know and I agree it was a mistake on my part. But you refusing to accept my apology, don't you think it was a bit too extreme? Please, cut some slack on me. It's not like you don't have your flaws. And talking about you, you have a goddamn a lot of flaws. So, if you can't accept me, can't forgive me well... I can't do anything. I don't want to force my company on someone who doesn't want me to be there. But I know I won't cry if you decide to leave because by now, I should be used to having been alone, having been left behind so many times that I'm so shit about it, having cried so many times and you still damn too clueless to know it's been you who made me cry.
And just so you know, there's a great difference in emo and thinking deep. I don't emo. I just think too much, worry too much. Quiet doesn't mean emo.
And just note that you are not that innocent either. I know you talk behind my back. I'm guilty of it too but I decided long time ago to stop caring whatever happens and get on with my life and studies.
So that's there. I shall assume that everything is bloody well even though my heart is tearing so loudly i can hear it. So, whenever and i repeat whenever anyone has a problem and needs someone to talk to, i'd be there to listen. I shall be the listening friend. It's the least thing I can do. Since there's no one to listen to me, I don't want another person to end up like me.