I haven't been doing much lately.. same stuff.. housework, tv, movies, reading, listening to music.. as much as im deadly bored this hols, i don't think i'm ready to face school just yet. oh well, it's not like time is gg to wait for any of us to fully ready ourselves for school term. i'm already getting the beegeebies goosebumps thinking about sec 3 life. and damn, time really really flies mann.. it really felt like i was just in sec 1 not so long ago. and wow, next year i'm alr gonna be in upper sec. and then sooner than it seems, i'll find myself in jc. we're all getting old i guess. and hopefully more matured.
k, so to reflect on certain things. like the asian idol. well yeah, congratulations to hady mirza for winning asian idol for s'pore. well, i didn't vote for anybody but my cuz spent 30 bucks voting for hady which means 60 votes. my dad was thinking that things would be a lot easier if we are able to vote for the idols in a kinda package thing or smthg. like if you want to vote 60 votes for hady and someone else [cos the system was 1 vote 2 choices] then just like book 60 votes in one ago. the money will still be the same. it will save time and energy sending only 1 sms requesting 60 votes rather than sending 60 smses. besides, it's an easier anyway to count.
anyway, i think hady did quite a good job with his performances. he has the voice and i suppose the looks. but honestly, i didn't expect hady to win. i'm not undervaluing local talents. it's just that s'pore has a small no of citizens compared to the other countries and if the judges has a big influence on the audiences then i don't think people will vote for hady. but hey, he won!
anyway, i always thought the whole idol thing isn't flawless. i mean yeah, it is suppose to be a singing competition but reality check, looks always play a part in getting votes. if some guy is more gd looking and his voice isn't so gd, people will still vote for him. girls can go all cair over him and then they'll be having thumb cramps for voting too much and perhaps that dude will get more votes than for guy who has a much nicer voice but ain't good looking. and then there's the social factor. like how many contacts each contestant has and how willing are those contacts to part with a large sum of money just to vote. and there's just the charm and the x factor that wins the hearts of people. and not everybody has that. sometimes, it's just what you're born with. so it's either you have it or you don't. and that's a difficult thing to count for.
ok.. i'm off to shower.

k.. this is cos wiz tagged me.. so now i have to do this.
I HAVE BEEN TAGGED!

Instructions
1. Do the following WITHOUT complaint.
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.
4. Start your post with; I have been tagged!

Favourites
Favourite Color: Turqoise (oh no.. there's no turqoise in the colour thingy. this is the closest )= )
Favourite Food: spaghetti? not really la.. i don't know la.. not fussy..
Favourite Movie: err..?? too many that i like to choose.. but some include 'italian job', 'click', 'hitch' and yadayada..
Favourite Sport: Badminton!!! a good way to release all the anger and frustration [right feena?]
Favourite Day of the Week: holiDAY
Favourite Season: Autumn
Favourite Ice Cream: strawberry sundae [most unfortunately]

Currents
Current Mood: quite happy.. get to talk to farah and feena on msn.. it's been so long..
Current Clothes: a red base t-shirt that has a bobdog picture. the picture has a green background and black poka dots on the green background. and green long pants.
Current Desktop: err..??
Current Time: 22:42pm
Current Surroundings: my brother's room
Current Annoyances: my stomachache and the stupid songs that's playing from my computer. my brother downloaded them and i totally don't like them. and he tells me i'm immatured for not able to appreciate and enjoy the songs. blearghh. why do i even play them in the first place??
Current Thoughts: change song!!!

Firsts
First Best Friend: Nadhirah
First Crush: ahemahem..
First Movie: can't rmbr but i know kuch kuch hota hai was one of my firsts. hey.. i cried ok.. see.. i mature early. LOL!
First Lie: honestly, i started lying only when i enter sec sch.. bt i cnt rmbr my first lie cos i dnt make it a point to rmbr it.
First Music: azan

Lasts
Last Drink: plain water. but before that i drank banana juice. banana shake?
Last Car Ride: erm.. well whenever it was, it should have been in a taxi. we don't have a family car and i don't rmbr hitching a ride frm someone
Last Crush: shuddup
Last Phone Call: home. asked my brother if he wanted the banana juice/shake.
Last CD Played: i have only one which is from sleeq.

Have you evers?
Have you ever dated one of your best friend: that'd be so weird.
Have you ever broken the law : jaywalk.. littered.. vandalised[by accident!]
Have you ever been arrested?: nope..
Have you ever been on TV: yep..
Have you ever kissed someone you dont know: eww.. im not despo okayye??

Random 5 things you are good at: spoiling songs.. writing.. tbc.. tbc.. tcb..
Things you've done today:woke up, breakfasted, wrote a letter, wrapped a birthday present, sweeped the house, bathed, went to madrasah [i shouldn't go into details of what happened there], go home, change out, mop the floor, watch tv, help my mum cook, solat zuhur, change clothes, eat lunch, go to english class, buy the banana juice/shake, got pissed, go home, eat dinner, go toilet, blog, talk on msn
3 things you can hear right now:the nice songs that i chose to play. the keyboard sound. and the msn sound.
People to tag: siti, ama, hafidz, lena, diy [the names just popped up in my head. interesting order] wait. lena has no tag so erm.. fatihah

Mum and Dad and brothers are out. shopping. yay!! [sarcastic!] So I'm the only one home. Whatever. Had to go to madrasah to collect result slips. Okla.. Didn't study during the first term so my marks are kinda shit. Then went home and watched NUMB3RS. I got hooked up with it.. bUt.. it is interesting to watch. should have started watching ages ago. oh well.. school and mum bug me so often i couldn't sit on the couch in front of the tv for more than 1/2 hr. then i had to help out my mum cook cos my grandmother and aunts and cousin were coming over. and well, my grandma is very fussy so my mum wanted to cook more for them to eat and more as in more variety. my mum always put up a 'show' whenever they come over. well, especially in front of my grandmother. grandmother is just so fussy. honestly, sometimes i can't stand her. so mum always, you know, put in the extra effort to put up a good front and make sure the house is neat which is a feat. but then i'd be scolded like hell before they come cos my mum would be scolding me to help her out. ok, so just now i cook. ok..helped out my mum cook in the kitchen. my mum was cooking briyani. like wth.. she'd rarely cook that. and she's making deserts as well (1 's' right?) ya.. she's really putting up a good front. and then i went to english class. really interesting today. watched a little bit of documentary about politics. i'd fall asleep whenever it comes to politics. it's interesting yeah but just not catchy to me. yet. ?. but the person who made the documentary made it cool. ok, we didn't finish watching it. to be continued next week. after getting dismissed i walked to raffles city and called my little brother to ask if he wanted a banana juice. banana shake? basically liquid-ed banana from the blender and some ice. and then i asked him if my grandmother and aunts and cousing reached our place already and guess what?!?!?!?!?!?! they left. 5 minutes before i call. what the shit la.. i was damn pissed mann.. can't they just wait for me to get home?? yeah.. too much to ask huh?? and they left presents for me. typical sia.. so materialistic. they've always been materialistic. k, i'm not sure of abg shamir (my cuz) but my grandma and my aunts, yup. they left me money, handbag (like i will use it??) and there's chocolates, and tops. what the shit la.. can't they just wait a while just for me to come home?? i won't be seeing them for a long time. aunty rosey will return to Perth soon. her husband's still there. he didn't come over. then aunty yasmin and abg shamir will go back to KL where they live. and my grandmother goes back to her house. and then like always she'd go Kashmir to visit her 'adopted' grandchildren. and she'd go KL to aunty yasmin's house. and then back to S'pore and then Kashmir again and the bloody cycle repeats. what the shit.. and her travels are mostly paid by my dad. kk.. my dad's a gd son who takes care of his mum but this is wayyyyyy over. i've never been beyond KL ever in my entire life. and this kelantan trip i'll be taking part in will result in the furthest i've ever been. kelantan. people like sara lai were talking about their trip to china, japan, europe etc.etc. talking about beautiful toilets with plasma tv. nice man. real nice. where's the fairness in this? i don't see any silver lining whatsoever. i'm damn pissed. super pissed.

Yay! Finally I can blog.. wee! XD K, quite a lot of things had happened.. so first things first..
1. concert by RI
K, so I was late by 1/2 hour XD. sorry firdaus. well i was late because i was ironing. see..im so budak baik! ya right.. so we went solat at al-falah first. while waiting for me, firdaus ate. k then, we took 190 to victoria theatre hall. we actually went to the hall that we performed for pentas budaya then the ticket guy there said that maybe he thinks our concert is nextdoor. i didn't even know there was 2 halls. so we went to the other hall. actually we weren't sure then suddenly there was this english guy whom i presume is an RI teacher said that they've started already. So we went up and saw a teacher and an RI student behind a desk. when we reached, we weren't allowed to go in. but during interval, we went in and sat next to ama.
the concert was okla.. the choir part was really good.. the actions were cute. haha.. but the strings part was rather boring la..XD kinda draggy. ama and i were so stunned at the choir mann.. like they can go so high.. ain definitely can't reach that note that i know.. then ama, nas, firdaus and me went to solat then makan at macs before going home. and there were just some jerks.
2. my brother came home!! his mouth was still bleeding :/ but now he's fine..yay! but now he has to wear braces o.O
3. RI- RGS heritage trail was fine.. but i thought that the trail could be less ambitious as in there should be less stations but there should be more significant activities. and some people just should be more ethusiastic. then after that yearmates went out to year lunch. but siti and i went to cp.

Ok.. so madrasah exams are finally overRRR.. wee! like no more mugging!!! exams was okayye.. so today had tauhid paper. we started doing the paper at like 11.40 or so cos the ustazah was super slow coming into class and then when she came into class she forgot the papers. like zomg. then i finished the paper at 12. some questions i just like shoot in some answer (sure miss la..) haha.. no point i sit staring at the paper right. dunno means dunno. but i dnt think i will fail. so i spent like 20 minutes on the paper but on the schedule of the day, they put 1 hour 15 minutes to do the paper. like -_-" no? anyway, i saw syafiq. i was like zomg. so weird..he told me he saw me a couple of times before. then never say anything..
then yesterday, there was this fund raising project for masjid annur. so we were put to groups of 2-3. and sent to different masjids all over Singapore in taxis that masjid annur had called for us. the reason we went to masjids was cause it was friday and there was friday prayers so there'll bound to be many people. i gotta say that's smart..so i got into the same group as Seha. she's so hilarious mann... nvm personal joke anyway..so shan't elaborate what she did o.O oh and i saw syafiq. met him actually to get the concert tickets.
so Seha and me were stationed at masjid darussalam which is at clementi. i was kinda hoping i would see abang kamal or siapa-siapa la but i guessed they went to masjid tentera which is nearer to nus campus if they were in campus in the first place. so there were 2 entrances to the masjid darussalam. Seha went to the back gate cos there was a staircase so she could sit. So i took the main gate. It's interesting to watch people. Like I found out that most people there actually took their right shoes off before their left shoes. K, call it boredom.. Then there was also staff members from masjid darussalam who were also carrying these buckets where it says 'tabung amal'. And dunno why but a lot of the pakciks that came into the mosque to pray put their money into my tabung instead of those staff members from masjid darussalam. and those staff members were like giving me this look and one of them said 'wahh.. masjid annur ada banyak duit' like wth.. since when has there been competition?? K, then it got more boring cos there weren't many people yet so in the end, i started smsing syafiq. XD
Then i made another observation which is that the older people namely the pakciks came into the masjid first. eh.. some of them generous ok.. like they put in 10 bucks into my tabung and then another 10 bucks in the tabung amal for masjid darussalam. then came the muda-muda.cehwah..XD like 20+ or late teens. hehe.. ada handsome2 jugak yang derma.. tsktsk.. orang ngah buat kerja amal la.. satu kali pandang rezeki. dua kali pandang dah salah dah.XD but those guys, they're also very generous man.. like one of them donated 12 bucks which is alot. at least to me it is. so who says only old people are doing the amal work? anyway, i hadn't had time to dua kali pandang cos literally, there were people queuing (is that how it's spelt? tsk syidah ni..) to donate into my tabung amal and i had to help cos the hole of tin is like so small. and the staff member from masjid darussalam like pandang pandang with that sengeh.. like whatever la.. tak salah pe if they wanna derma to masjid annur right? but it was uncomfortable cos i'm a girl at a place that is by the minute getting crowded with guys.
The hole of the tin is damn small. like people were struggling to put notes into my tabung. then the people behind, waiting to donate were folding they're notes smaller. lol..then there was this pakcik who couldn't put the notes in so he just put the money on top of the tin and asked me to put it in for him which of course i did.
so as prayer time was nearing, more people came. and i realise that those that came later were actually students. and some came with their bags and briefcase which i assume to contain they're laptops. not all of them donated cos they were kinda hurrying to take wudhuk. but some did.
then after the solat, i stationed myself again at the entrance and some people donated. i swear there was this guy who donated twice into my tabung. then after that, Seha and i sat at the main entrance and we just waited for the same taxi driver who drove us there to drive us back to masjid annur. so while waiting, we bought kuih. there was this stall next to the entrance but inside the masjid la.. i was like squeezed next to the stall so as to avoid hitting any guys during the collection of money (macam hari raya pulak eh). then the staff members gave Seha and me 2 packets of nasi briyani each. like zomg. actually a staff member gave 2 packets to me, one for Seha and one for me. but another staff member who was jaga-ing the back entrance and who was with Seha gave 2 packets to Seha supposedly one for her and one for me. haiz.. then just as we were about to leave, the makcik at the kuih stall gave us 4 packets of free popiah basah. like zomg. so much food.. and masjid annur also gave us food. then when we balik masjid annur there's gonna be food also.. food galore!!
then today, ustaz maznan told us that yesterday's efforts turned out to be a great success cos we raised like $332 400 ++. can't remember the ones and tens digits. and it was either he said 'and 4 cents' or 'and 40 cents'.
personally, i hope that the students who helped out actually did it because it was right and not only they wanted to help out after ustaz firdaus said that we'll get 5 bucks for our work plus 5 marks extra for eac of our exam subjects. bribery ni.. X/

I've recently gotten hooked up on this show called '24'. It's just simply amazing. The plot is always full of twists and surprises. There's always something new coming out of it. And it's always emotional. The story is dealing with government and stuff but although it's all high-tech and classified and all those secrecy, there's still touches of humanity in it. It just makes the plot more real.
And watching it makes me think about life. It's like this story revolves around the matter of trust. It's who you can trust and who you can't. And I don't know but I've never thought of life that complicated until you can't trust the person right next to you. It's not that you don't want to but it's just you can't. And there's this sickening unsure feeling in you. You don't know what to do. There's circumstances and issues and complications. And you have to think on your feet. Have back up plans in case the original one backfires or something. And yet you still have to go ahead and still trust people because you have to do what's right and not let anything else gets in the way of that because you have to make critical decisions and millions of people's lives depend on those decisions.
And here I am. Taking a lot of things for granted. I'm ready to scream 'give me a break!' when I'm loaded with work and when my mum pesters me on something. But when you talk about people's lives. When you talk about dealing with the future. The unknown. Anything can happen.
And when you talk about relationships, friendships and bonds. And it just matters how much you trust someone. You need to have good bond between people. And this bond doesn't take overnight to be strong. It takes time to build and more importantly, you do need it to be strong cos during crisis, those are the people you turn to. I can't help but think of yearmates and other friends that I have. And the fact that sometimes, I do expect them to be there to help me. But the question is, how much have I help them? With things, I don't know, just stuff..that they need help with.
And also with a strong bond, with trust and also of course, there comes love. Love for the friends you've known. And it's love that secures you. That makes you feel safe and at home. Love is what makes you willing to do anything for that person you love. And you won't regret it because you trust that person. And that person trusts you. And most importantly, you trust yourself. You know you're doing the right thing. You've never been more sure in your life.

I wonder why..
I always fall in love with those who simply can't love me back
because they have someone/something else to occupy their thoughts
I wonder why..
I always care for those who in the end
just couldn't care less for me
I wonder why..
I always cared too much
when in the end I always end up being used
I wonder why..
I always let myself be used by others as means
I wonder why..
I just can't let go when it all is clear that I should
knowing that it'd hurt me more if i stayed
I wonder why..
I always came back
because being away makes me feel guilty and it hurts me
I wonder why..
I'm always torn in two between leaving and staying
because I'd be torn between me and you
and whichever choise i make, my heart is to break
I wonder why..
I care about what you might think of me
when I know you never think of me
I wonder why I even bother
I wonder why I even sit down and cry
I wonder why I worry about you
when you don't give a s**t about me
I wonder why I take so much trouble when in the end it'd just be you happy.




and me alone..
again.
Every woman in the world to me-air supply (just the verses)
Every night seems dinner and wine
Saturday days
I was never in love, never had the time
In my hustle and hurried world
Laughing my self to sleep, waking up lonely
I needed someone to hold me, oh
It's such a crazy home town
It can drag you down
Till you run out of dreams
So you party all night to the music and lights
But you don't know what happiness means
I was dancing in the dark with strangers
No love around me
When suddenly you found me, oh
Everything good, everything fine
That's what you are
So put your hand in mine and together we'll climb
As high as the highest star
I'm living the life time in every minute
That we're together
And I'm staying right here forever, oh
Well, that's the thing about me see. I laugh about and try to be so happy to cheer you up and so that you won't worry about me which I suppose never in a blue baboon's butt will you do so, and in the end at night I just cry, exhausted with all the pretending, sick of what I actually did. And in the end, I made me a goal which is to see you happy and in the end, all my hopes and dreams are seconded. And yeah you don't know what happiness means because you just don't seem to cherish it and next thing I know, you fall in the mud again when I already dry-cleaned you and I'll have to do it again. And yeah, I really do feel like strangers around you cos you don't know me, not with everything revolving around you. And see, the sad thing is, I'm satisfied when you're happy, knowing that I did a good job and I know I'm staying put in case you ever need me.
And this is to a lot of people. As in I'm refering to a lot of people in this post. What I'm going through is really mentally and emotionally draining.
But then again, I guess this is love, isn't it?
I never got my birthday wish

K.. back from camp. I'm really really sorry that we broke our promise to our sec 3 ma'ams, to make this tcamp successfull. As in, we tried but I guess maybe it's just not enough. Personally, I thought we could better control our juniors but it's kinda hard since they don't listen to us. We really didn't want to shout but if kind words just make you all more dependant on us, then yelling is perhaps the only answer. We really didn't want to shout. and i'm sorry to those juniors I screamed at to stop dragging, to eat faster, to time etc. As in, yes, juniors can depend on us for some things but not everything. Sometimes it's obvious that some of the juniors are trying hard but like 5 people or so can't make up for the rest of the juniors. And just cos my year is willing to do stuff for the juniors doesn't mean y'all should take it for granted la.. next year is gonna be juniors and your own juniors, we're not gonna help y'all already. So if juniors, you guys aren't ready, how can you help the next batch? And juniors should stop thinking that y'all are princesses cos then you might as well go sleep and dream this kind of stuff. If you're tired, so are we ok.. and we are more tired than you cos we need to take care of you and try to make things organized and it's tiring to literally shout our timing just to cover up your voices, to persevere and carry your babies and camp flags when you say you can't. This is a camp for humans if you hadn't realise so why can't we hear your timing? if you have cramp or stitch, it's most likely that my yearmates has them too. Just persevere. As in, it's ok if you really really cannot take it but don't fake. Don't think the world will wait for you. Just cos the food is a lot, you totally expect us to be your back up stomachs. As we can and will help but please la.. we're not dustbins can?? and we have our share of food too. We're going through the same camp for heaven's sake. Do you really have to wait for us to start crying again, pleading with the ma'ams to return all the kidnapped babies and flags, to try rescuing the babies that were going to be kidnapped but y'all really don't seem to care at all. I don't think we need the ma'ams to scold us before we can co-ooperate right?
I don't believe the juniors were unprepared for massevac. We send them notes. Extra stuff they don't need to yet learn. And we gave them a lot of mass evac pracs and also scenarios. I don't know how that cannot be enough. As in, we can so much give juniors practice and notes but if they don't want to revise on their own then it's out of our hands already.
But I think my year also has a lot of things to improve on. Definitely, we are better at doing first aid and evac but we should help each other buck up. I really need to improve also. A lot. we should build up confidence. I think one of the reason that we are indecisive is because we are completely unsure of which decision to take in case we made a wrong one cos we really really don't want to disappoint the ma'ams again because we realise the effort put in to plan the whole camp and it must have hurt to know the batch that you had a major part in bringing up turn up to be such disappointment. But the time we took in making a decision still earned us a scolding.
To all the day and bunk i/cs.. I'm really really sorry on behalf of the campus (I don't know about the juniors tho..) that we didn't contribute much to make things better. We're really sorry that in the end, you have to bear responsibility for our carelessness, lack of sense of urgency, disorganisation and our selfishness. We're really sorry we didn't listen to you right from the start. And we're sorry that you have to do punishments for us. We're sorry that we left you behind to bear all our mistakes. We're sorry that we are dependant on the i/cs too much just cos we're relieve that we didn't get chosen to be i/c. Saying sorry definitely isn't enough. But I really swear that I'll try my best to make things run smoothly by listening to i/cs all the time and I'm sure yearmates feel the same way too. I'm just saying that I love all you yearmates deep down in my heart and it's time I have to prove it.
To juniors, please please buck up. It's not too much to ask when we say 'try. just try and persevere'. We love you all too so we really want to see you be the best cadets you can be. We want to feel the satisfaction that we had a part in making a successful batch of cadets who are efficient. those who did try, thanks really a lot but rmbr you are all a year and not an individual so please help each other out.
Juniors, it's really come to begging from our year. We can't be with you always, to help you. In fact, next year's training camp is going to be run by us and we don't want to be disappointed that the cadets that we help brought up turned out to be horrible. I think it's enough that we disappoint the ma'ams during these 2 days but it's possible to make ammeds and be terrifically better next year and the year after and so continuing on..
We'll make this a unit effort ok.. jiayou everyone..
this is a personal opinion so sorry for any possible hurting remarks.

I dunno why this was saved under drafts..
Had another jalan raya yesterday with Rafflesians. as in with RI peeps too. K.. the day started of with us going to hanis' house. but i didn't follow along cos i had to clean up the house first and my mum didn't wanna help. it's just not fair mann.. i mean whenever my abang's friend wanna come along, she'd clean up the house and i had to help her out. where's the justice in that???

So i had no choice but to skip hanis' house. then i joined the group (Hanis, Sarah, Amalina, Syarfeena, Diyanah) to Ama's house. It's so freaky...like Sarah predicted I was going to wear blue and yeah i was wearing blue or turqoise..whatever..

Then after that it was to Firdaus' house. We were super late..o.O.. Then it was just Diy, Syarfeena and me. Then, met up Aqid, Sufyan and Syafiq at Firdaus' house. Firdaus, you cannot complain that we didn't eat cos we ate okayye..his mum is nice. Then Firdaus showed CSP camp pics and also a collage that he made.

Then we went to Aqid's house in Boon Lay. The journey was like 1hr plus plus plus?!?! exaggerating. haha. took some pics in the train. randomness...

Then at Boon Lay MRT station, Ain joined our group. Then we went to Aqids' house which is like freaking nice.. wee!! like imagine living in such a nice house. and going to sleep also require you to excercise a little cos you have to climb the stairs..haha

Anyway.. i just learned that Sufyan luuurrrvvveeessssssssss nuggets. haha!! like nuggets nuggets nuggests GALORE! sry i was a little harsh about zuhur. XD

Then, it was over to Feena's house. We took cab. Haiz.. kosongla pocket aku XD. The food was nice there. Then Ahmad also came so he joined our group. We also had meet-feena's-parents-session. Cos her parents wanna know what she does at school. haha. it was freaky ok... then her dad was like 'i don't wanna hear about her positive points. i want you to tell me about her negative points.' like what are we suppose to say?? haha.. feena's little brother and sister is super cute. haha. tembam XD.

ohh..then we tried making syafiq sing but he didn't =( apa seh... hmph.. and he said he was going to sing for us at his home which he also didn't.. tsktsktsk

we solat-ed asar at her house. then maghrib also cos we were waiting for dear lenny!! and her sis of course..

after feena's house, it was syafiq's house. by then it was like 9 or so.. watched a bit of tv and there was food but i didn't eat cos i was full.. like ohmygod..bloated.. X/

then it was my house which was the last house.. i kinda feel guilty cos i was like going home already but they had to travel far to go home.. i so kesiankan firdaus, ahmad, aqid and ain. it's like they live at the extreme ends of the island...

my mum made marshmallows with coated choceolate. yum.. i was eating the leftovers after they left XD

too bad it was kinda late at night..if not then aqid could have played the guitar. wee!! like that time fird and khai was playing the guitar and my brother played the drums.

So, after the whole thing yesterday, i learned

1. to bring telekung when i go beraya. and also to stop asking guys if they have telekungs...=) and instead, ask if their mums/sisters have telekungs that we can borrow.

2. bring guards. cos somehow i became feena's 'punching bag'. haha.. tsktsk feena..feena.. ahemahemahem..

3. bring money in case if we are suppose to take cab

Today was totally fun...
well, i went to school to meet up with juniors. discussed year items and group items. did a bit of briefing about expectations. had mass evacs.
then lunch at some foodcourt at far east. and guess what.. saw my 2 cousins. they're brothers. when we were eating (was with charlotte, huan ying, ain, mona, khaing zin, sally, lishan, xiaowei, diy and lena. siti decided not to eat), they came into the foodcourt with some of their friends. then, i wanted to go over and say hi. but their friends kinda look like mats and minahs (sorry..) so it scared some crap out of me so i decided not to. then when it was paying time, i finished eating. so i went to pay la... and diy was with me. i decided to ignore them at first. then abang ilya was like 'is that rasyidah?' to his younger brother. and duh... i can hear him. so i turn around and waved. embarassed much cos his friends were looking at me. then after paying, i went over to salam abang ilya before leaving and i feel kinda bad that i didn't salam his adik who's a lot older than me by the way. cos in order to so, i would have to lean forward across the table to reach to his adik. then that means i have to kinda lean towards his friend which is very the paiseh and embarassing. so after that, i just left. oh mann.. i can't believe abang ilya hands around with those type of people. oh shoot... am i being a bit stereotype here?? kay..shall change my thinking. despite their appearances like mats and minahs, they might be nice people down deep... and that's why my cuz hangs out with them and befriends them. see...im being positive. yay me! i trust abang ilya. anyway, it was nice seeing him cos it's been very long. and when i went over his place, he wasn't at home cos he was away at ns.
then, after lunch, had another mass evac. it was a lot better. then year item. then me and siti actually stayed in school till 6.20 in school to watch Pride and Prejudice.on youtube. HAHA!! I LUUUURRRVVVEEEEEEEEEE that show so much!!! i've watched it once before. on youtube. pathetic huh?? my dad won't get for me the dvd. sighs... me and siti were like awww...
actually i explained the story to her. like the whole plot. and it was super complicated (right siti XD). i had to draw a diagram for her to understand. haiz...i thought only maths could be this complicated XD. haha.. then a brilliant idea struck me and i told siti 'hey, let's watch the movie! it's on youtube!' and she gave me that crazy look... but haha.. in the end, we watched it.. it was so so so so so so touching... AWWWWW......!!! then while watching the movie, siti actually refered to the diagram. haha!
i like the ending. it's so sweet!!! quote: 'You must know. Surely you must know that I did this all for you'
say it with me people... AWWWW!!!
if there's only such a guy in the world...
and keira knightley is so chio!!! and siti is so shocked to hear her called plain in the movie. who cares if it's in a movie. she's pretty and it's injustice to call her 'barely tolerable'. and the part where lizzie and darcy had the argument. when lizzie totally rejected him. siti was like so stunned. haha! and the ending was so sweet!!!
siti and me, we agree that the cutest character was Bingley and the father. haha!!
wee!!! shall go watch in on youtube again. that's how pathetic i am sia... i watched step up on youtube also.. like -__-"'
and after that...i was totally teasing siti about ahemahemahem...grins... HAHA!!! siti, you told me you'd post all my jokes so you better!!! MWAHAHAHA!!
but i also earned A LOT of tight slaps from siti. my arms and shoulders are damn painful... if i ever have a shoulder dislocation, siti, it should be on your account XD (and we just had mass evac with the juniors o.O)

Is to love to feel the ecstasy and then to be disappointed? afterwards, to forgive and forget, start anew and be blinded again?
well.. yea cos im in this situation. o.O
i dunno what's wrong with me!!! NO!!!

Ok.. so monday was speeches (thanks siti).. i was falling asleep in almost everyone of them because sunday night, i stayed up late to watch a movie with my dad. but i do remember the last part of mrs deborah tan's speech. learn to say NO. haha.. that is a lesson worth learning..
so tuesday, malay enrichment, we had to watch a movie titled 'sumo'. i've watched it once before. find it really entertaining and enriching. you can learn something valuable there. we watched the first half of the movie before going to sri warisan. it was really nice over there. we had a good workshop about wayang kulit. the guy is really good. shucks. i forgot his name. and it might seem easy but wayang kulit is really difficult. with the emotions in your words and then having to handle the different props and puppets. not to mention it can last for hours, days sometimes, and you have to keep your standard up. you can't do a horrible job and it is tiring if you're doing it for hours. and the gamelan is really fascinating. i can't understand how someone can play the gendang. it's really confusing. a lot of hand co-ordination. and then again so is the piano. i guess practice makes it almost perfect.
and then we went back to sch and finished watching the movie. nice cikgu let us eat in class. wee! haha.. at the point of time where the sumo game was going on, everyone was gasping and some were like 'oh my god!'.. it's like watching soccer or rugby. haha
then on wednesday, we had jalan raya. it started of rather horribly. i mean, people were late. but then after that, almost everything went on almost smoothly. we had to change our plans now and then. we went to ain's house first, then sarah's, farah, lena and then all the way to tampines to afiqah's place, cikgu roziyah's (goodness, she looks like my aunt), then azira, cikgu melhan (his children is most amiable. i remembered ain was carring his youngest. and then he cried. but when she passed her to me, she stopped crying. aww... =)), mr azmizar, diy. but i didn't go to diy's house. it was really getting late. i took a cab home cos the bus was taking an irritatingly long time. i got locked out of the house when i reached home. that wasn't surprisingly really. but at least i didn't get the silent treatment.
thursday, netball carn and drama night. 202 won second for netball carn. wee!!! the cheers for our class was really funny. i like the second cheer:
score it, don't stop it
202 let's get on the court
let's work your body and the ball stays in the court
let me you see you 2/2 step
we love it when you 2/2 step
everybody 2/2 step
2/2's gonna win it all
it's sung to this song. i dunno the title. but i like our class cheer.
then drama night. i lied to my mum saying there were no more places cos i submit the reply slip late when i actually totally forgot to submit it in the first place. but even if i did, i wouldn't want her to come. i can tell she was relunctant to come anyway. the whole thing was last minute. she agreed to it only as i was on my way to school. and i didn't want her to be there if she really didn't want to see me on stage with the rest of 202. and besides, part of me loathed her at that point because of her locking me out the night before and totally ignoring my explanations of why i came home late, saying it was unexcusable. she didn't think herself as unreasonable. but i don't know what overcame her because she actually kissed me goodnight.
if there is one thing i want any parent to know is how the child tried his/her best in everything. who wouldn't want to make their parents proud? sometimes, only God knows why, a hard work's not paid off. and sometimes what my mum only sees is the results my siblings give her. she never really see our hard work. and sometimes she never see how hard me and my brother study because we usually mug in the library knowing that studying at home won't be productive because my mum will sometimes barge in to check on us and idris will make a racket. something about me and my brother, sometimes we like be in control of ourselves and our progress. that accounts to why we spend time by ourselves.
anyhow, i went to ms chen and lied to her saying that my mum couldn't make it but she suddenly told me that she had freed some time to come and watch so can she please please come? and ms chen said ok yea sure. and then smsed my mum and she came to watch. 202 won the third place. it's better than not getting in it at all. the prize we got was sorry.. but it's pathetic. we were all excited to know what was in the cardboard box. but when we ripped the wrapping paper off, and open the box, we got a shock to know inside was only envelopes. anthea grabbed some and was about to hand them out when she felt something inside and yell 'there's something inside!'. so everybody was hushed again. tension building up. then ama opened one of the envelopes....
...
...
...
then she put her hand in it...
...
...
and she took something out...
...
...
guess what was it???...
...
...
a bookmark. a bookmark. we were like.. uh-huh?!?! so much for the tension. but it had nice advises on the bookmark. mine was something about 'it doesn't matter how slow you are as long as you don't stop'. that makes sense. and emily tried to steal my bookmark. hmph... walau.. she's damn freaky.. she can carry ama! like wth?!?! so strong. and ama can't carry emily. o.O
ain's bookmark was 'a good relationship is forged between two forgivers'. i'm like awww... but then thinking again, how many mistakes can someone afford to make without the partner getting super pissed off? and how long can one tolerate the other's shit?
then, on friday we had farewell assembly and ODT. of course farewell assembly was a drag but we survived through it. then came ODT. performances were a lot better. maybe it was because it was for mrs deborah tan. but i thought the best gift for her was the portrait. it was really sweet. and thousand apologies to her when she hears our class song. due to lack of practice, some keys were totally off.

Events that happened this week:
- i totally forget what happened on monday. someone remind me please
- had malay enrichment on tuesday. it was fun. surprisingly.. then had kenduri doa for my grandad and grandmother
- jalan raya on wednesday.. wee!!!
- thursday, netball carn and drama night
- friday: farewell assembly for sec 4s and ODT
- saturday: piano exam, english class, kenduri doa
Shall elaborate later on. It's a lot to talk about. So I would need to spend a lot of time in front of the comp. And that tak akan direstu oleh my brother. I don't want another fight.
Shayne Ward- if it's ok with you. nice song ~~~

It's been a bad week for me. Ups and downs and end up in tears. My grandad passed away yesterday. He lived till 92. It's amazing if he could still live longer. But I'm just happy that he passed after raya, after we all gathered together, after I've seen him. And I'm glad he went through this year's ramadhan. So I'm trying to pray for him as much as I can. My only regret is that we were never close unlike my arwah nenek. She used to take care of me.
1 more month.. seems like a long wait..but time flies before you know it..
Anyway, happy belated birthday to kak shasha, hanis (my cousin) and of course to abang khai. He's such a cool guy. Haha.. he can go 'Yo! What's up?' heh..:)
Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
Fell too far, was in way to deep
I guess I let you get the best of me
Well I never saw it coming
I should of started running
A long long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, More than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces from spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
The day I thought I'd never get through I got over you!
You took a hammer to these walls
dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
When you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me
Well I never saw it coming
I should of started running
A long long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you More than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And I'm picking up the pieces
From spending all of these these years
Putting my heart back together
Cause the day I thought I'd never get through I got over you!
Well I never saw it coming
I should of started running
A long long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, More than you know
Well I never saw it coming
I should of started running
A long long time ago
And i never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, More than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting My heart back together
Oh Ooooooh!
Now I'm putting my heart back together!
oh Ooooooooh!
Cause I got over you!
I got over you!
I got over you!
Cause the day I thought I'd never get through I got over you!
When I read the lyrics, I'm like 'damn straight you got that person'.. i kinda pictured in as a smack in the face. It's like when that person is so used to think that you were always so reliant on him/her and that he/she's your everything. And then suddenly you come and say 'I got over you!'. I dunno but imagining it that way, it felt good. Quote from feena, 'jangan nak perasan'. Imagine if you go up to that person and say, 'Sorry doesn't cover the distance. I GOT OVER YOU! bbye!' and do a little sharpay.. 'toodles!'
Sedekahkan al-fatihah to my grandad..amin..

Sighs... it's really boring now. There's almost nothing to do...
Monday, had interclass PE games. Our class got in 3rd place in the B Group and 6th overall, both for badminton. We didn't get the top 3 for rockclimbing and basketball. Didn't see those games cos I was playing badminton. It was quite fun. Walau.. some of the people prooodddeedddd mann..! Wah..Smack here smack there. For our last game, Jingyi and Jiayi played for our class and the opponents were from 206, a badminton national player and Christine who's badminton skills were pretty tight. And we lost to them 23-21. (Although there aren't suppose to be more than 21 points in a set) I watched them play, it's damn frightening la... Walau.. the badminton player gave us like no chance, smack the shuttlecock like shit sia.. But Jiayi and Jingyi are still pro people..
Then we had the social and dining etiquette. It was quite fun. It was at Parkroyal Hotel. The hotel is really class. elegance... pizzazz! The speaker was quite humurous but kinda a bit mean la..ego also (woops..) But basically we were taught how to eat, how to present ourselves etc. But the food was good. Damn damn nice.. Had 5 courses of food. We had caesar salad (it's healthy ok.. it's mostly lettuce with sprinkled cheese and a little bit of meat, doesn't fill more than a tablespoon, not the whole but two fine slices of egg and something that tasted like bread), bread roll and butter (the butter's from germany XD), the main course which was chicken chop with potato wedges and broiled buttered carrots and brocolli. Followed by the desert which was French pastries (dunno why it's called that. i thought it was cake) and tea. The food was nice and a lot. As in each serving was small but when you eat everything, it's wow...
Then yesterday for cle, we watched a movie. It was so touching i cried... sobs... it's sweet and all too.. teaches the value of friendship and equality. 'Remember the Titans' based on a true story. I wonder who's the number 48 guy... Diy ni.. Sape-sape je number 48. Shall find out Haha..
Then we had the CCA Merits workshop. I went for AVAPA. It's kinda cool. But we ended at 11.45 when the time allocated for the workshop was to end at 1.30. In the end, I slept at the AVAPA room. Hehe.. the rest of the girls started doing the Rubrik's cube. People are liked hooked up or smthg. I go around and I see people doing it but it's kinda fun I guess but mentally exhausting.
Then today, we supposedly had to practice the choral speaking. But in the end, I helped Anthea and Farah to complete the script. I passed the other classes, they were already practicing the lines. Sighs... and auditions' this friday.
But we shall pulled it off and like NDP. Last-minute work but still... it came off good.
Then had asthetic talk. Wee! we're going to learn cooking again next year. Nicer food. Japanese cuisine... Italian food... chicken chop.. and dunno what else ah...
YAY!! 202 won the 2nd place for the ACP with a net profit of about $640!!! *Applause!!!* And the 1st class' profit was about 800 bucks. That's a bloody hell a lot of difference. But in total, the whole level earned more than 4000 bucks. Yay!
Oh and had OBS check up. I'm fit to go!
Feeling ever so betrayed. How the hell can anyone ever do such a thing?? Can't you at least have compassion and understanding?? Is it too much to ask for? You told me you regretted it once and you're doing it again. If you know you're such a jerk and an ass, then why bother making it work in the first place? You're going to end up breaking someone's heart and hopes again. That's so monstrous. When all the hopes was put on you, all you did was just disregard it? And what was it that you told me about friendship? Huh? You told me to stay true remember? Try to make things work for the better. And you're turning yourself against your words. Do you even hear what you speak? Or you don't care and just giving me PC answers, speak it for the sake of speaking it? I mean.. who the hell are you to be giving me sermons when you yourself is damn inperfect, two-faced backstabber and you don't practice what you preach?? I seriously don't get you. And you seriously need to rethink.

Thanks a lot to those who got me the birthday presents and those who wished me a happy birthday. I love the stuff Nas, Feena and Fitri got for me. Thanks a lot. Oh and I got my Jane Austen novel compilation :) Had dinner with my family. Ate pizza. Gave Idris (my brother) the present I got him(thanks Siti). In case I don't get a chance to blog tomorrow, Happy Birthday Idris <33.
Sighs... believe it or not, I'm sick right now.
EYA results were horrible. Lit, Maths and Geog, the subjects I studied my butt off to improve my GPA. In the end, I got shitass results from them. But whatever, it is over.
I'm out of mood right now...
My Wish
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you wanna go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.
Chorus:
But more than anything, more than anything...
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and always give more than you take.
Chorus:
But More than anything, yeah, more than anything...
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
Yeah. My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
Some little motivation for myself... and this is for you too..
You forgot didn't you?

K.. raya so far..
we went solat raya at the padang near my place. k, not so near la.. it's like 15 min walk away from my place and that's if u chiong. then there was sharahan (it's tt how it's spelt?) and i didn't know i fell asleep but my mum was nudging me awake. but i could hear what the ustaz was saying. about how we should appreciate bulan ramadhan and bulan syawal, the significance of aidilfitri, and also about the benefits of fasting with relation to islam's identity. then balik and tido!!!! the afternoon we ate turkey. like turkey on raya?? it's weird la cos it's my first time eating turkey anyway.. my mum was like "this yr's raya, we go western" and i'm like okayye..? she ordered turkey from canadian.
then it rained. so we waited like till petang for the rain to stop. then, went to yayi's place and saw bibi and kak siti, kak mina and kak mimi (my cuzzies) there. Then yeah.. paman yunus was there too with bi' ani and fazlin and abang faizal and ihsan, he's so cute!! and so big now..mulut dah pandai cakap dah, ada laser pulak tu... abang faizal's like damn tan now ah cos of n.s. then after that, we went to paman yunus' place. we took bus frm yayi's place. but abg faizal rode on his bike. and i'm like wow mann.. his bike is hot!! like motorbike, motorcycle and not bicycle.. damn cool..
Then from there, we, as in with paman yunus and family also, went to paman harun's place. oh mann.. there was nice food!!! and damn pedas la..the ayam masak merah.. but it was nice.. :) always like bi's cooking. anyway.. damn sad la.. my cuz, paman harun's son was away at n.s. so didn't get to see him.
then we called it a day.. yep.
then the next day, auntie tom came with uncle azman and my cuzzies too!! sarah is freaking tall!!! could pass off ama o.O.. then there's hanis.. so cool, she plays the drums too! then there was isyak and kak nadia.. NYAHAHA i'm taller than kak nadia. then they ate the turkey.. it's like so big, my family makan tak habis the day before so hehe simpan the leftovers then let my cuzs eat for lunch.. then they went to paman samad's place. then at abt 2 pm, abang yazid came to my place with his wife and kids. oh mann!! danial is almost as tall as me now.. and he's p6. pfft... anyway, wish him luck for his PSLE results.. it was pretty sad then.. as in abg yazid's wife was complaining about him. see.. abg yazid's relationship with his dad, who's my uncle, who's my mum's brother, was weird. basically, they avoid each other whenever possible. and my mum was advising abg yazid that whatever happens, he's still abg yazid's dad and he should visit my uncle even if it's 5 min per visit. and somemore, it's raya.. well, no doubt my uncle still has his ego.. he wouldn't tell abg yazid whenever he comes hme cos my uncle, he stays in indon. so when he cmes back to s'pore, he wouldn't tell abg yazid. oh well.. and to be honest, i cnt rmbr how my uncle looks like..
then we went to my neighbour's open house. i had to struggle not to eat. i saw my parents and my abang eat like oh mannn... and there's like ayam masak merah and sambal telur.. and like other nice nice stuff.. but idris and me, we rata the satey. wee!!! we also watched lakehouse at my neighbour's house with mastura.
then malam.. oh mann.. my dad got a call frm cik rahmat and uncle charley, saying they wanna cme over. so my mum and i prepare the drinks and stuff. wahh.. then sekali got a call from my cuz and they wanna cme over too! niway, they came before cik rahmat and uncle charley came. the house was like jam-packed!
k, there was...
my cuz, kak juli and abang sudirman but we just call him abg man with danish and oh shoot.. i forget my neice's name.
then there was kak shasha and kak jina a.k.a. sandra bullocks. haha! she really look like sandra bullocks.
then paman samad and cik aida, with my cuzzies, haider, aqid, sabrina, and the little boy who's name is kinda too long and i cnt rmbr.. woops.. and also ashraf. it's been really long since i saw him. we were kinda close then. then, idk what happened but i think the last tym i saw him was when i was in lower pri. and it's kinda sad cos i don't think he rmbrs me as his cuz cos he salam-ed me even tho we're in the same age.
the there's abg hai and his wife (who's indon and dutch and dunno what else.. cool eh?) and their kid..
then cik rahmat and his family and uncle charley with his family. imagine.. uncle charley's daughters' names are nadia and diana. cool much??
my mum and me, we were rushing to serve dinner and pour more drinks and making sure there's enough kuih.. and everyone was spread across both halls. i was like running here and there trying not to stumble over my baby cuz and nephews and nieces cos man they're really small. and my dearest two brother, what did they do??? main game..main drum.. like wth?? dnt say kitchen work is only for females..
and i can't believe abg man can play the drum. we had a mini concert. haha! abg man totally rocked the house! hehe.. tak nak balik pulak tuu!! then everyone was like 'encore!' hehe.. lucky sia my neighbours up and down berderet org melayu so they go beraya. then they won't get distrub by our racket.
then, i wished abg hai a happy advanced birthday!! wee!! he's birthday is on 20th which is the same day as mine too!! cool!!
then on the nxt day, auntie asia with her hubby and kak radiah came over.. so long havent seen them. rindu jugak.. hehe X) oh wells.. since they took care of me and my abg when we were small cos my mum used to work.
aite.. that's all for now.. posting results tmr when i get back everything.

Wow.. when we were all mugging like mad.. now exams are over and tomorrow's raya already. wow mann.. time flies. but i realy dnt have tt raya mood. my mum's bugging me to clean up my room but i'm like wtev la.. cant be bothered la.. not lyk they gonna eat and watev at my rm right..
k, i think EOYs was ok.. but the paper that i regreted most was maths. i mean, wth?? didn't do 2 qs so 11 marks gone. erm.. i was hoping my hist will turn out ok cos i dunno if i had explain enough. i was hoping geog will pull me up but seeing how the paper is so shit... im putting my hopes on lit which i think it shld be ok la.. as in im not expecting to get A but at least a B or a C.
then today had to go to sch for choral speaking rehearsal. it was stupid. i mean, it's like we stayed there for 1 hr listening to the teacher talk and she gave plenty of tips. i mean it's kinda cool but it's pretty stupid to attend smthg for only 1 hr. i take more than 1 hr to travel to sch. i bet the enthu ppl like cheryl lee, rachel and trisha would want us to get in. i mean we got in for RBD and national day concert so i guess they want us to get in for drama night. then it'd be like complete. and then there's netball carn. so i hope our class will do fine.
oh mann i still rmbr last yr!! woots!! go 105'06!! netball carn champs!! woots! k, i didn't play for the class but i helped paint the banner which i forgot won which place. nat goh just rocks at art! haha. then on the day we painted the banner, we ended up dancing in class. afiqah rocks man! haha. we went youtube then played songs. then we danced hip hop. the routine that the teacher taught us. and also the HSM we're all in this together. lols!! was being pretty childish.
then wow mann.. complete sia.. drama night we won 2nd place. cool much?? hehe.. i played J.K. Rowling. haha.. what British accent i had to try to make up but it was screwed in the end. so i kinda speak in my normal way.
oh haha! i still rmbred we kinda prank mr sekhar. we told him we lost netball carn. then farah or dunno who called him. wahh.. then the voice all depressed sia. then he came rushing to our class. then everyone was pretending to be so sad liddat.. he actually believed us! then suddenly everybody laughed and we started screaming and jumping and he's like 'what?what?' haha then we were all like screaming 'we won!' lawls... but after that our rehearsal for drama night was pretty screwed cos everyone was tired by then. but it was cool... love 105'06 forevery!!!
k, so today.. was otw to sch for the choral speaking thing. it's dumb la.. who wanna do choral speaking? if it's like skit or smthg at least it won't be too bad i guess. but choral speaking?!?! and using merchant of venice somemore.. wth??
oh mann.. just now was weird. was gg to sch. then there was this guy standing at the escalator at orchard boulevard. he was handing out newspapers. then i saw the title was 'my paper' so i just took it. then otw up the escalator,i opened it up and guess what... it was in chinese. lol..
then, saw the 190 bus so i ran for it. the bus wasn't moving. there was a bus in front of it. so i just crossed the road to the bus stop by running in btwn the buses then waved to the uncle. then he opened the door so i went in. then saw vivien then i sat nxt to her. then we talk la.. we were like complaining. it's damn dumb to make us come back for 1 hr. they shld have it like ytd aft maths paper. i mean maths finished at 9.30 la.. it's still way in the morning. they got the whole bloody afternoon. then bus reach sch already. then alighted. then saw mr lim as in lim pia leong. then i greeted him la.. like 'morning mr lim'. oh mann.. i still find it awkward seeing him cos last yr he was like giving me this heart-to-heart talk. it was suppose to be la but i didn't wanna open up so yea.. then after greeting so vivien and i just walk on. then suddenly he came to me and said 'next time don't run in between buses' i'm like oh shit!! so embarased la! he saw like wth?? vivien didn't know what he was talking abt so i told her what i did then she was like 'oh...' haiz..
k, im darn bored right now.. oh man. have to clean my rm then wash shoes. i think im gonna have another shower. so hot sia..
to all muslims... since i wouldn't have time to blog tmr..
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MINAL WAFAIZIN
MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN
i hoped i spelt it right. k.. rmbr not to eat too much kuih or drink too much sweet drinks. wouldn't want to grow horizontally. XD

All this time- Simon Webbe
After all, the broken stones
That were thrown, for no good reason
Inside, she's loving him still
After all this time
And though her heart begs the stars
No sign of healing,It's All right
She's loving him still, after all this time.
Oh yeah
[Chorus:]
Trying to push the past away
Still waiting for the lights to change
Try, try for the sake of their pride, pride
Learning to barely feel the pain
Thicker the skin the less the strain
And though it's really hurting
She ain't breaking, breaking, breaking
'Cause she's loving him still, after all this time
Now he knows his weakness shows
Selfish soul, never changing
That's fine, because she's loving him still
After all this time
And to the outside eye
You see a family getting by
And it all seems perfect, and that's how she wants it
'Cause she's loving him still, after all this time.
[Chorus]
After all this time...
After all, after all, after all this time
Bones have to grow, and age it shows
Though we try and hide it
Inside, she's loving him still
After all this time
And behind his tired eyes, she sees the boy with his arms wide
Who made her feel like an angel
Oh that's why she's loving him still
For the rest of her life, she's loving him still
For the last of many miles
She's loving him still
After all this time
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This song just makes me think about some things and some people.
Let october pass by fast.
A small hope that will go amiss. sighs...

I think Miley Cyrus just rocks! Man.. my brother doesn't like her songs. But it's like super nice! Fine.. maybe we have different tastes but i think Miley Cyrus has talent. Some of her songs are not really to my taste but the ones that i like.. how can abang say it's not nice?? pfft...
Niwaes.. on tuesday, we recorded our voices for music. sucks i tell you.. we all had micro-phobia. like microphone phobia. haha.. trust nina to come up with 'mico-phobia'. she always has cute ideas. niwaes.. mr lim took over mr kok. and we recorded our voice. maybe it's just nervousness or what cos without the mic, everyone sounded perfectly fine. as in some of their voices are like wow. but with the mic, even emily sounded flat. and imagine my voice.. lols..
I think mr lim simply rock my socks! he can play the piano like wow.. talk about being proooodddeddd mann!! he's been in the music industry for 20 years or so. and to imagine he hated piano at first. his aunt was his teacher. haha! he said he used to compose and write music for the taiwanese singers but he didn't always get his songs sold. so now he has his own business where he help artiste do a demo. basically what we did in class. cool right??
and except for our voices i think our songs are really nice like emily's group's song. it's really really wow.. but erm.. haha.. the voices kinda ruin everything. but apart from that, it's damn damn nice!! when i played the songs on my comp, my brothers just had to walk in and go 'what's this noise?' and they were commenting how our voices all sumbang. please la.. it's not that we are professinal singers right.. u wanna harp on bad voices, harp on hudgens' voice. oh well.. some might say she rocks. i think NOT! and her songs don't appeal to my taste. niwaes.. my abang was like 'if u know u can't sing, then don't sing la..' wtf.. it's not like we had a choice. we were practically FORCED to sing by mr lim cann?? if we had a choice, we would run out of class.. talk about spoilers.. it's not like it's easy to compose a song. and i doubt they could compose anything almost as good as ours within a short period of time. HAH! that shut them up. *grins*
but we couldn't have done it without mr kok and mr lim. oh mann.. no more music next yr.. spoiler much..! urgh..
so thurs we had philo and english. english like totally screwed up.. it's almost ok. but it's still screwed up. philo was ok. damn.. philo class u can fall asleep. philo exam also u wanna fall asleep! dunno what's up with philo and sleeping.. best pals. but philo can be interesting.. at times.. philo should make friends with ms r. XD
and today we had mly compo and geog. mly was ok.. but i kinda missed the point. sidetracked a bit. geog is stupid can?? the questions are like so vague. we don't know what they're looking for. in the end, it doesn't matter how well we revised cos we can't understand those darn questions!! so most of us like just shoot in any answers we think is what they're looking for. and the percentage thing is bloody stupid!! have to calculate this and that. it's so sian i tell u! in the end, i spent like 20 minutes on that bloody question and it only hold 4 marks. idiotic much??
so now... mugging lit.. and history. yep.4 down 5 to go.. hold on tight people! we're in for a ride! yee-haaaaaaaaaahhhh! lols.. and mr chang said 'enjoy your EOYs' like who will? uh nuh-uh! XD attitude people.. attitude..
oh.. haha.. my brother shared this joke with the family. it's cute. come on.. primary school kids.. hehe
my brother, idris:
how do u spell 'blind pig'?
us:
erm.. b-l-i-n-d p-i-g?
idris:
no..
us:
erm..?
idris:
it's b-l-n-d p-g. cos if there's 2 'i's, the pig won't be blind!!
get it?? haha corny much..
and then there's what starts with an 'e' and ends with an 'e' and has a letter inside?
ans: envelope!
haha.. we were all like 'eye??'
toodle-doo! i have some mugging to do!

i'm tired of sitting on the fence. by keeping quiet, it's as though i'm agreeing to it. but inside, only god knows what storm is raging. and i'm tired of making up excuses for you i mean come on... how much longer are you gonna take to finally mature? all these while i'm just keeping quiet cos i do prioritise your feelings and i still value our friendship. but tell me what friendship is there where it's only one sided? and i think it's rather dumb to be so concerned about you when you don't give a rat's fart about my feelings. i don't even know why i stick with you so long. it's not like i'm so desperate to gain some friends. but i made a commitment and a promise and unlike you, i do keep my promise okay.. to take care of you in your so fragile a state and when your mind is so disorganised. so here's my side of the story. and it's gonna be in white so you have a choice to read it or not.
i'm not surprised if after this you're not going to talk to me anymore. you and your kuncu-kuncu. but i really don't care anymore. and if firdaus told me i was being stupid that i'm fell for someone who evidently doesn't care about me. then this is a repetition of what's going on between us. all that i've done for you, you just don't seem to value it. i'm not looking for any kind of reward and i'm not expecting you to always be there for me. but a little gratitude, you mean to show you don't even have enough humanity in you to showcase your gratitude?
you know how un-subtle i can be. i won't mind telling you in your face how i feel about this matter. but this is my flaw. i can never live to hurt someone else. usually others' feelings have been my priority until even if i breakdown for a few nights in a row i still won't care about my condition that much.
and besides, even if i told you, it's not like you would listen. and all the while my excuse for you is that you're not in the right state of mind because of the problem you're facing. but that problem is stupid and it can be easily avoided. so i don't know what to else to say in your name against my better judgement. i mean, it just proves you're too wrapped up with yourself. and you don't really care what goes on around you. cos most of your life is just you and you and you. prove me wrong girl. prove me. and besides, i know you always come here to read my posts maybe to pick a fault against me so might as well read this post right?
ok, first things first. i don't want to be like you. who the hell wants to be like you? one of you is enough for ten thousand lifetimes. so what if i cut my hair?? i've always to since early sec 1. it's just that there hasn't been time or i was just too lazy. so i put it aside. cos unlike you, i'm not that vain. and my pouch, so? my wallet got torn. so obviously i need a new one. i found the pouch i'm using in my closet while cleaning it so i might as well use it than buying a new one. and don't you think i would wanna buy a nicer pouch that matches yours if i do ever wanna be like you? and you said i'm putting on your behaviour. that, i'm sorry ok. but don't you think that people will get a little influence when he/she hangs out with another person long enough? so you say i wanna be like you and you want me to change right? to be unlike you. fine by me. i never wanted to be like you in the first place. then what about others? you're gonna lie and say that there aren't others who are putting on a bit of your behaviour, your style? and i'm not restricting it to only girls. i mean even the dudes are using your words. apaever. apa-apalah and whatever else there is. so how can you blame me?
and you don't like the idea that i'm a bit more enthusiastic when y'all talk about guys. and if it still hasn't gone into your head. then you should know that i'm only doing it to fit in. sort of. you're like boy-expert or something and almost all your life, i don't know how many guys like you. and if guys are the only topic you can talk about apart from you and your guy problems (see? it's all back to guys again), then just for the sake of friendship, i have to lie and be a little more involve when you mention that topic. i seriously don't know why i bother trying. so if you're telling me to shut up about guys. then reflect a bit. and you shut your mouth about guys too. fair enough?
and you don't like me being more open and hyper. that is damn stupid. isn't me being more open means that i trust you more? i never knew that trust is such a bad thing. but if that's the case, then it's ok if you think i'm way below your feet that my trust isn't worthy. besides, i've fallen off my respect for you gradually since you came to me with your guy problems and when you're a little better, you go off and leave me alone. it's like i'm your tissue paper or something? when you need me you come to me and if not you dump me aside like some trash? and you proved to me you can't be trusted on important issues.
and when have i been 'snatching' guys from you? i admit i do talk a bit about guys, some of them your crushes, but it's my general impression about them. do you hear yourself talking? and how you go into explicit details about guys? hey i'm not as bad as you okay. talking about hypocrites. you're one of them. i don't mean to be harsh but that's the truth to me.
and just cos guys like you, doesn't mean you have to choose one of them. so what if guys like you? it's their damn business what their hearts tell them. yang kau nak perasan sangat apa hal? and if you like a guy, doesn't mean he has to return you the feelings you show him. learn to appreciate gratitude that he has shown you.
and you're so weak. he shakes you a bit. to you it's like the earthquake. start praying. no point you telling him to be good when you yourself is in a shit mess.
and stop being so materialistic. stop being so biased, one-sided, hypocritical, self-centered. stop thinking the world revolves around you.
i think i've said enough. and i'm not going to be surprised if after this you gonna show your true colours after reading this. if only other people know how y'all bitch. and you said you're sick about some people making up stories about you. then take a leaf out of your own book and stop bitching about people too. you can choose not to admit what i've said to be true. hell, it's your choice. i don't care. because knowing you, you usually turn a blind eye on your flaws. you acknowledge but you don't understand. you hear but you don't listen. so i hope you read and it goes in your head.
if i have been too harsh and too biased or basically if you think i'm not being fair. then tell me and prove me wrong about what i've said. if not, silent means consent. i'm not gonna apologise for saying what i said. and if you're gonna think more ill of me after reading this, then tell me. so i wouldn't waste money getting you a birthday present if you're not gonna appreciate it. and return me the book i borrowed from the library so that i can return it to the library tomorrow. that is if you can be trusted enough to do one simple thing.

wee! finally got rs presentation over.. all the cursing and frustration ends last tuesday. and there's still the biggest mess we're gonna have to go through starting this thursday. hell.. i can start today. wth.. EYA or EOY, it spells the same thing... exams!
k.. putting that aside.. french controle was killer. k it was so stupid. siti and i skipped school. we were allowed to. and we met at woodlands library to study at 11. and then we got all kan chiong cos our parents didn't call the school. we didn't know if they're suppose to even if we are excused from attending school. so what did we do??? go all the freaking way back to school. then we went GO and confirmed that we didn't truant. cos if we're absent and our parents didn't call, the it'd be considered truancy. and i think that goes straight to BETA. i think.
so we reached school during lunch time and spent only 20 minutes there? and then... the clerk was like 'you don't have to call if your teachers know you are taking the exam'. after confirming we aren't in deep trouble, we just left for moelc. or rather an-nadhah. we reached there at almost 2 i think. and siti was like 'why did we go all the way back to school again?'
k that was just a weird day...
so now my wishlist:
k.. this is more of what i need
1. a new bag. the one im wearing is seriously old and dirty.
2. a pencil box. the zip on mine got accidently pulled off. and yeah it got dirtied by ink.
3. a file. nv really realised how much ws we get in sch. and i want the high school musical file. as in the 1st musical. cos there's everyone inside and the design is nicey-nice! the high school musical 2 file designs are either there's everyone but the background is pretty plain or there's a nice cover but it's pink and not everyone's in it.
4. a notebook. k this isn't really very important. so maybe i can hold on to that for a while. oh and i really like the high school musical notebook. not high school musical 2 notebooks. it's the 1st musical. it's really nice. but i still can't fully decide. if i would, i'd just get them all! nyahaha!
5. compilation of jane austen's novels. k my dad is buying that. wee! damn it cost 40 bucks.
6. i wanna watch:
pride and prejudice
step up [im so behind..]
hairspray [woo! zac efron!]
7. and i'll think of the rest... the jacket and the shirt aren't really that appealing to me anymore. yeah it's nice. but it was more of an impulse at the moment when i said i wanted it.
so this afternoon had history remedial. wth.. 3 hrs.. damn.. im so wiped out. oh haha! just now, hanis, farah and i were like so hyper and we kept laughing. and i was a bit evil just now.. hehe.. we did trigo! and we were talking crap.. k.. some things have to be kept just btwn us..shh ppl! Then farah's dad send me to bukit panjang otw to clementi cos farah was visiting her aunt. and we were still so high we were making a fool of ourselves in the car. we were listening to farah's mp3 just now. and we were like acting out the songs.. like drama drama. haha! then got a bit the jiwang songs. so we were all like.. holding our hearts... and pretending we were really dedicating it to someone. haha! lameos!
haha k.. time flies... eoy is coming. slacked tonight. so tomorrow, gonna have to start working. jiayou ppl!

Hehe... I'm blogging in malay class. cikgu is not here. aww mann... later have to meet cikgu roz after school for rs. die die die!!! tmr is the presentation. i should start writing my will before tmr. hehe. anyway, i think there shouldn't be a problem la... let's hope not anyway.
Urm... i haven't finish my french homework. and i have french later. oh crap. RI ppl will be joining our class. hmph! menyibuk! hehe..
i am so broke! i don't get pocket money during bulan puasa. how sad is that man??? and i need to pay for my last month's phone bill... i still haven't gotten my phone back. 12 more days of waiting or so... so i don't know if i should go for friday's ymc buka or not. like i said, i am so broke! and i need to get bdae presents for some ppl... hehe and i want to belanja some ppl but i think that is definitely a no no now.. considering my financial state. humph! empower u is getting to me agn! hehe.. i love the file cover. such a nice jump shot! hey... no fair!!! my bro gets to go empower u agn! like free... so jealous mann... dale invited him to come agn. how cool is that? so sad... what to do? can't fork out 300 bucks cos i ain't that rich.
i wanna go empower u agn!! wee!! then can be a facist there too! wee!! but honestly even if dad suddenly becomes very generous and allow me to go agn, i dunno if i have the time to commit to empower u. but it shld be fun and not very time consuming.. according to mahdi, that is...
okay.. bell is gonna ring soon. so i shall end here. ta-ta!!
butt cramps and heartaches...